Chandrika Jokes

Anglican Arch Bishop Kenneth Fernando lay dying in the Jayawardanapura hospital. For years he had faithfully served, blessed and advised the majority of Sri Lanka's "Buddhist" political leaders.
He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see Chandrika and Ranil before I die."
whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.
The nurse telephoned the two people.
Chandrika and Ranil were delighted to visit the priest, as usual.
As they rushed to the hospital, Chandrika commented to Ranil:
"I don't know why uncle Kenneth wants to see us at his deathbed, but it will certainly help our images." Ranil couldn't help but agree.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Chandrika's hand in his right hand and Ranil's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of rare serenity on the old man's more...

Chandrika: I considered you as a freedom fighter, the moment I read,
“HARD HARD ONE IS THE BIG BIG GOOD ONE(to be
circulated)” Written by you to the infolanka joke page.

Chandrika: Please show me how to bring a political change in Sri Lanka.
ULTRA MICROS: Your Excellency, its this New Constitution.
Chandrika: Will People Support Me.
ULTRA MICROS: Its Foolishness if they don’t do so.
ULTRA MICROS: Your Excellency, good luck to you.

ULTRA MICRO CONSTITUTION OF THE DEMOCRATIC SOCIALIST REPUBLIC OF SRI LANKA.
Section 1
Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka is an unitary
State Which Is Comprised of 24 Key Administrative District
Councils and There Sub Councils.
Section 2
All Laws relating to Citizenship, Matrimony, Inheritance and
Succession shall be governed by The General Law.
Section 3
English, Sinhala and Tamil shall be Official Languages.
Section 4
There shall be The more...

Queen Elizabeth, Bush and Chandrika all died and went to hell.
Queen Elizabeth said: "I miss England, I would be pleased to phone England and see how everybody is doing there"
So she called and talked for about 5 minutes.
Then she asked:
"Well devil, how much do I owe you?"
The devil: "A million pounds".
"A million pounds!!!????" & she made him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.
Bush was so jealous, he starts screaming, "Me too, I wanna Phone the USA, I wanna see how everybody is doing too. So He called and talked for about 2 minutes,
Then he asked:
"Well, devil how much do I owe you?"
The devil: "Two million dollars".
"Two million dollars!!!!!!???" & he Made him a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.
Chandrika was extremely jealous too. She starts screaming and screaming "I also want to phone Srilanka! I want to see how everybody is more...

Mrs. B went to heaven. As she stood in front of St. Peter at Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind her.
She asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move. " Oh," said Mrs. B "who's clock is that?"
That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie.
" Who's clock is that?"
That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life.
" Where is Chandrika's clock?" asks Mrs. B.
"Chandrika's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a table fan."

Yuo folks!
The election fever is now at its zenith but I am still not sure whether you have decided whom to vote. Hope this brief guide will help you?.
The top ten perfectly logical reasons to vote for UNP?
1. Your grand farther had voted for UNP, your father had voted for UNP and now you want to continue the family tradition.
2. It is the lesser of the two evils. (Justification: "Bheeshanaya tikak thibuna thamai, eth api meeta vada hondata kala endala hitiyane!" Though it was a bit terror regime, we were better off then.)
3. You are an automobile tire merchant and you are certain your business will prosper under a UNP regime.
4. You are an under world Goonda and you have a feeling that your skills and talents will be exploited in a more productive manner if UNP comes to power.
5. Your wife (husband) is an ardent fan of Chandrika and you know in this darned country no self-respecting man (woman) admits sharing the same political ideology more...