Devil Jokes

(To be left on an answering machine, or as a general prank call)
"You know, the strangest thing happened to me today... I asked the devil for a condom, and he gave me three. I asked the devil for a dollar, and he gave me ten. Then I asked the devil for a ho and he gave me this number."

Three guys, a Tarheel, a Blue Devil and an NC State Wolfpack are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give you each one wish; that's three wishes total," says the Genie.
The Wolfpack says, "I am studying to be a farmer; my dad was a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land in the Piedmont to forever be fertile."
With a blink of the Genie's eye, "FOOM" the land in the Piedmont was made forever fertile.
The Tarheel was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Chapel Hill, so that no one can come into our precious city."
Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, "POOF" there was a huge wall around Chapel Hill.
The Blue Devil says, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."
The Blue Devil says, more...

The Devil went down to Georgia not because he was looking for a soul to steal.. Chuck Norris took over hell for two weeks and told the Devil to get the fuck out.

One day in the future, Bill Clinton has a heart attack, dies prematurely -
and goes straight to Hell. The Devil greets him, but says "I don't know
exactly what to do with you. Of course you are on my list, so you will have
to stay - but you got here a little earlier than I expected and I don't have
your room ready yet."
The Devil thinks for a moment and says, "Tell you what I can do. There are a
couple folks here who weren't quite as bad as you were. I can let one of them
go so long as you take their place. I'll even let you decide who gets to
leave."
Clinton thought that sounded pretty good, so the Devil opened the first room.
In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and
surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No," Bill said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think
I could be doing that all day long."
The more...

A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the
habit.
One Halloween night,
she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way
home.
When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red
horns, long tail, and pitchfork.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"I'm the Devil," she responded."Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister."