Elizabeth Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Call From Hell

    Hot 8 months ago

    Queen Elizabeth II, George W Bush & Robert Mugabe died & went straight to hell.Queen Elizabeth II said "I miss Britain, I want to call Britain and see how everybody is doing there. She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then her Majesty asked "Well, Devil how much do I owe you? The devil replied "Five million dollars" She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.George Bush was so jealous, he began screaming, "My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there too" He called and talked for about 10 minutes, then he asked "Well, Devil how much do I owe you? The devil replied "Ten million dollars" With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.Robert Mugabe was even more jealous & started screaming, "I want to call Zimbabwe, I want to see how everybody is doing there. I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody". He called more...

    What's Your Name?

    Hot 1 year ago

    There was a married couple sleeping and an intruder entered into their house. The intruder put a knife to the neck of the woman and said, "I like to know the names of my victims before I kill them. What is your name?"

    "My name is Elizabeth," the woman replied.

    The intruder said, "You remind me of my mother who was also named Elizabeth, so I can't kill you."

    The intruder then turned to the husband and asked, "What is your name?"

    "My name's Mario, but my friends call me Elizabeth."

    One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certfiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.

    The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

    The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my more...

    The World History

    Hot 1 year ago

    [Original Author: Richard Lederer, St Paul's School]
    One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a
    student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably
    genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through
    college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.
    The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by
    Camelot. The climate in the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of
    the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular
    cube. The pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
    The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were
    created from an more...

    Then: Swallowing acid Now: Swallowing antacid Then: You’re growing pot Now: Your growing pot Then: Watching John Glenn’s historic flight with your parents Now: Watching John Glenn’s historic flight with your kids Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor Then: Passing the driving test Now: Passing the vision test Then: Seeds and stems Now: Roughage Then: Popping pills, smoking joints Now: Popping joints Then: Whatever? Now: Depends Then: Ommmmmm Now: Ummmmm Then: Our president’s struggle with Fidel Now: Our president’s struggle with fidelity

  • Recent Activity