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    1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt. 2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you. 3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the darn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with. 6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again. 7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files. 9. Use Interactive more...


    Hot 2 years ago

    A city boy went duck hunting in the country one day. While hunting
    he shot a duck which fell on the property of a farmer. The boy crawled
    over the fence to claim his kill. But, the farmer, seeing what had
    happened rushed out with his shotgun and yelled, "See here! That duck
    belongs too me!"
    The city boy replies, "But I shot the duck, therefore it belongs to me!"
    The farmer says, "It fell on my property so it belongs to me!" They
    continue to argue, each claiming ownership of the duck. After awhile the
    farmer says, "We should settle this the old-fashioned way."
    The city boy asks, "What is the 'old-fashioned way'?"
    The farmer explains, "First, I kick you in the groin. Then, you kick
    me in the groin and we continue in this fashion until one of us gives up.
    The one who wins gets the duck."
    The city boy, willing to do anything to get his duck and leave, agrees
    to the contest. more...

    The Blond Date

    Hot 6 years ago

    A guy and a blond are on a date, and after dinner and a movie, they head on up to Makeout Mountain, where things get a little hot 'n' heavy. Then the guy leans over."Do you want to go in the backseat?""No." Unfazed, they continue making out. The guy trys again."Do you want to go in the backseat?" "No." A little frustrated, the man decides to ignore it. They continue to get pretty into it. Soon, the man figures he can ask agin."Do you want to go in the backseat?""No." "Why not?""Because I want to stay up here with you."

    Here it is nicely illustrated:
    Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud:' 'Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?'' And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
    And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
    And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I more...

    If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"
    If you get one of those pushy people who won't shut up, just listen to their sales pitch. When they try to close the sale, tell them that you'll need to go get your credit card. Then, just set the phone down and go do laundry, shopping or whatever. See how long that commission based scum waits for you to get your credit card.
    If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...." When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.
    If the person says he's Joe more...

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