Cape Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    This TRUE STORY from my secretary.
    Last week her mother was getting her usual "do" when her hairdresser relayed a previous-day experience:
    The hairdresser (owner) was getting ready to close up her shop when a man came in and asked if she could give him a "quick cut" before she closed. She agreed, and as she was trimming the guy's hair, he put his hand under the "cape" and the cape started moving. (She became somewhat uncomfortable.)
    Then, the lady got REAL concerned when the man put his OTHER hand under the cape and the cape started moving MORE; she thought she was trimming the hair of a PERVERT. She then panicked, took a hairdryer and smashed the man up-side his head, causing him to black out on the floor.
    The lady hurried and called 911, police came... only to find out that the poor guy was JUST CLEANING HIS GLASSES!

    This is true story from the newspaper The Cape Times (South Africa):
    "For several months, our nurses have been baffled to find a patient dead in the same bed every Friday morning" a spokeswoman for the Pelonomi Hospital (Free State, South Africa) told reporters.
    "There was no apparent cause for any of the deaths, and extensive checks on the air conditioning system, and a search for possible bacterial infection, failed to reveal any clues." "However, further inquiries have now revealed the cause of these deaths...
    "It seems that every Friday morning a cleaning lady would enter the ward, remove the plug that powered the patient's life support system, plug her floor polisher into the vacant socket, then go about her business. When she had finished her chores, she would plug the life support machine back in and leave, unaware that the patient was now dead. She could not, after all, hear the screams and eventual death rattle over the whirring of more...

    You Know You're From Connecticut When...
    You have hiked up a big hill or small mountain at least once for a keg party.
    You never went to a bar in high school.
    You thought that the only highways were 91 and 84.
    You thought everyone couldn't buy beer after 8 pm
    You actually thought that Hartford was big
    You or someone you know has attended UCONN
    You drive a JETTA
    You still think that the Whalers are cool.
    You have been to Misquamicut and to that little hot dog place.
    There is a farm within miles of your house
    You thought bars were really for people over 21
    Your high school thanksgiving football game was the highlight of your school year.
    You don't have an accent when you talk.
    You have known at least 2 preppy rich kids from Fairfield who listen to Phish.
    You love Hilton Kaderli and your mom cried when he retired.
    UConn basketball rules and no one can tell you different
    You have deer in your backyard.
    You didn't more...

    61-year-old Stephen Bernard died on March 7 at Cape Cod Hospital. A quite funeral service was held on March 11. However, there seemed to be some confusion during the service as pallbearers complained that the coffin did not feel full. A spokesperson for the family quickly explained that, “If it does not appear full it is because contents have settled during shipping and handling”

    1. I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
    2. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost information, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
    3. I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa."Her response was "click."
    4. A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, more...

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