A fat guy went into a chineese buffet.
So he ate and he ate and he ate a little bit more each time he went up there.
Finally the chineese manager came up to him and said,"Sir", in a chineese acsent,"Sir, Sir sign says all you can eat not all we got"
Yo Mama is like a buffet, $3.00 and it's all you can eat!
On Sunday, the world's 2nd wealthiest man, Warren Buffet, announced he will donate the bulk of his 42 billion dollar fortune to charity. Buffet's oldest daughter, Susie, immediately changed her name to Charity.
A Father and son are talking about where to go on holiday.
The father suggests Poland because you can eat and drink for free.
Also, he says, you may go to the buffet for free.
After his visit to Poland his son lies in the hospital and complains
bitterly, "Why have you told me all this is free in Poland. Everytime I
tried to have lunch for free or tried to go to the buffet for free I was
After his father had a careful reflection he says,
"Oh, sorry. I didn t tell you I was in Poland with the SS!"
I hate some things about this time of year. Not the crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds.
You can't pick up a magazine without finding a list of holiday eating do's and don'ts... eliminate second helpings, high-calorie sauces and cookies made with butter, they say. Fill up on vegetable sticks, they say.
Good grief. Is your favorite childhood memory of Christmas a carrot stick?
I didn't think so. Isn't mine, either. A carrot was something you left for Rudolph. I have my own list of tips for holiday eating. I assure you, if you follow them, you'll be fat and happy. So what if you don't make it to New Year's? Your pants won't fit anymore, anyway.
About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave more...