Volcano Jokes

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    A Cute Volcano

    Hot 1 year ago

    What do you call a cute volcano?
    Lava-ble!

    I hate some things about this time of year. Not the crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds.
    You can't pick up a magazine without finding a list of holiday eating do's and don'ts... eliminate second helpings, high-calorie sauces and cookies made with butter, they say. Fill up on vegetable sticks, they say.
    Good grief. Is your favorite childhood memory of Christmas a carrot stick?
    I didn't think so. Isn't mine, either. A carrot was something you left for Rudolph. I have my own list of tips for holiday eating. I assure you, if you follow them, you'll be fat and happy. So what if you don't make it to New Year's? Your pants won't fit anymore, anyway.
    About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave more...

    I hate this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced
    frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police come out with
    their wagging fingers and annual tip on how to get through the holidays
    without gaining 10 pounds. You can't pick up a magazine without finding a
    list of holiday eating do's and don'ts. Eliminate second helpings,
    high-calorie sauces and cookies made with butter, they say. Fill up on
    vegetable sticks, they say.
    Good grief.
    Is your favorite childhood memory of Christmas a carrot stick? I didn't
    think so. Isn't mine, either. A carrot was something you left for Rudolph. I
    have my own list of tips for holiday eating. I assure you, if you follow
    them, you'll be fat and happy. So what if you don't make it to New Year's?
    Your pants won't fit anymore, anyway.
    1. About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a
    holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, more...

    Ecuador's Tungurahua volcano shot columns of ash miles into the air this past Wednesday.

    Good thing it was "Ash Wednesday" and not "Flying Razor Blade Wednesday". That would have been really disastrous.

    The volcano in Iceland has been spewing its contents continuously for so long that scientists have named it Joe Biden.

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