Broken Jokes / Recent Jokes

Broken pecker joke

Hot 8 months ago

A guy takes his broken pecker to a doctor for treatment. The doctor tells him there's nothing he can do for him except wrap it up with a splint. That night he and his girlfriend are necking and she keeps waiting for him to go a little further.
She removes her blouse and says, "Look at this... untouched by human hands."
He doesn't respond.
Then she removes her pants and says, "Look at this... untouched by human hands."
At this, he jumps up, drops his drawers and says, "Look at this... still in the crate."

The Brick Layer

Hot 3 months ago

Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.
Securing the rope to the ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 lbs.
Due to my more...

Broken

Hot 5 years ago

Knock-Knock!
Who's there?
Broken tape recorder,
Broken tape recorder who?
Broken tape recorder,
Broken tape recorder,
Broken tape recorder,
Broken tape recorder,
Broken tape recorder...

A Puppy Christmas

Hot 5 years ago

On the first day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
The Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the second day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the third day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Three punctured ornaments,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the fourth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Four broken window candles,
Three punctured ornaments,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the fifth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Five chewed-up stockings,
Four broken window candles,
Three punctured ornaments,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Six yards of soggy ribbon,
Five chewed-up stockings,
Four broken window candles,
Three punctured more...

Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?Why is it that no matter what colour of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not then what was the purpose of the bath?Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say' It's all right'? It isn't all right, so why don't we say,' That hurt, you stupid idiot?'Why is it more...

Seattle Seahawk Matt Hasselbeck revealed that he played eight games with broken fingers. Even sadder are the three games Tony Romo played with a broken heart.

It's Broken

Hot 3 years ago

How do you repair a broken tuba?

With a tuba glue.