Harry Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Bad Day at the Course

    Hot 2 years ago

    Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked.
    "Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee."
    "Oh, that's awful!"
    "You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."


    Hot 4 years ago

    Consider the story of the two octogenarians on a park bench. One asks the other: "Do you believe in reincarnation?"
    "Well, Joe," replies Harry, "I've never really thought much about it."
    "Maybe we ought to start thinking about it," says Joe. "One of us is going to go first. Let's agree that the one who is left behind will come to this park bench every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m., and the one who has departed will find a way of getting a message to him at that time about reincarnation and all those other things that are beyond our ken."
    Harry agrees.
    One month later, Joe dies peacefully in his sleep. Every week for several months, Harry takes up his station at the park bench at 11:00 a.m.
    Then one Wednesday, at the appointed hour, he hears a voice, as though from afar.
    "Harry, Harry, can you hear me?" the voice says. "It's Joe."
    "Joe, for heaven's sake, what is it more...

    Your mothers butt is so harry icomes and says, "don king in the house"

    First Grader

    Hot 4 years ago

    A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of
    her students.
    The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry
    answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
    third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in
    the third-grade too!"
    Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
    While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to
    the principal what the situation was.
    The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if
    he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the
    first-grade and behave.
    She agreed.
    Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him
    and he agreed to take the test.
    Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
    Harry: "9".
    Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
    Harry: "36".
    And so it went with every question the principal thought more...

    Raffle Winners

    Hot 4 years ago

    Several days before Halloween, Tom, Dick and Harry were sitting in a bar enjoying a few quiet drinks, when they decided to get in on the Halloween raffle. Since the raffle was for charity, they bought five $1 tickets each. When the raffle was drawn a few days later, they each won a prize.
    Tom won the first prize - a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce. Dick was the winner of the second prize - a six month supply of extra-long gourmet spaghetti. And Harry won the sixth prize - a toilet brush.
    The next time they met at the bar, Harry asked the others how they were enjoying their prizes.
    "Great," said Tom. "I love spaghetti."
    "Me too," replied Dick. "And how's the toilet brush, Harry?"
    "Not so good," Harry groaned, "I reckon I'll go back to paper."

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