Bliss Jokes / Recent Jokes
Day 1.
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.
Day 2.
Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me something I don't know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven't noticed.
Day 3.
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of the Washington Monument and burst into tears.
Day 4.
A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will fix his problem. It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra things will be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.
Day 5.
What absolute bliss!!.
Day 6.
Isn't life wonderful but it's difficult to write while he's doing that.
Day more...
Q: What is a mathematician's pick when faced with the choice between poutine and eternal bliss in the afterlife?
A: Poutine! Because nothing is better than eternal bliss in the afterlife, and poutine is better than nothing.
If ignorance is bliss, most of us must be orgasmic.
If it can be borrowed and it can be broken, you will borrow it and you will break it.
If it doesn`t make sense, it`s either economics or psychology.
If it doesn`t work, expand it.
If it happens, it must be possible.
If it is good, they will stop making it.
If it is incomprehensible, it`s mathematics.
If it is worth doing, it is worth doing for money.
If it is worth doing, it is worth over-doing.
If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
I'm really steamed at my wife. She is so immature!
Last night I was taking a bath and she came in and sunk all my little boats!
But I'm really a lucky guy. I never realized how much my wife loved me until the other day when I was sick and stayed home from work. She was so happy to have me home, that every time someone came to the door, like the mailman or deliveryman, she'd shout, 'My husbands home! My husband's home!'
What a gal I married!
And for everyone that's still single, some notes on marriage...
...Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
...Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
...Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss.
...Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.
...Marriage is the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license.
...Marriage still confers one very special privilege, only a married person can get divorced!