Four men went to play golf.
Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill.
The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.
The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so successful he gave a friend a new home for free. Just gave it to him!"
The second man said, "My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He''s so successful that he gave one of his friends a new Mercedes, fully loaded."
The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a stockbroker, and he''s doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock and bond portfolio."
The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business.
The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?"
The fourth man replied, "Well, my son more...
• Women have more imagination than men. They need it to tell men how wonderful they are. • Women have a number of faults. Men have only two - everything they say and everything they do. • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. • When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. When men are depressed, they invade another country. • A man is a person who will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman, however, will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. • Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are a man's best friend. Now you know which sex is smarter. • It's not true that men prefer foolish women. Rather they prefer women who can pretend to be foolish whenever necessary, which is the very core of intelligence. • Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more subtle more...
Ole and Lena's bull took sick and died, so they needed to go to the auction to buy a new one. Ole had to get the crops in and couldn't leave the farm, so Lena took the train to the city to buy a bull. If she was successful, she would take the train back to the farm, then she and Ole would go to town with the truck to pick up their newly purchased bull.
The bidding was furious at the livestock auction, and Lena found herself bidding on the last remaining bull. It took everything she had but ten cents, but she was finally the successful bidder.
Unfortunately, the train home was fifty cents. "Please, Mr. Conductor, couldn't you make an exception just once?" pleaded Lena. "Sorry lady," he replied, "but you can send your husband a telegram to tell him your problem. The office is just down the street."
At the Telegraph office, Lena asked, "Mister, how many vords can I send to my husband for a dime?" "It's ten cents a word," more...
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20 even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need because it's on sale.
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
A woman has the last word in any more...
These four gents go out to play golf one day. One is detained in the clubhouse and
the remaining three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee.
"My son," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the homebuilding industry.
He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so
successful that in his last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home
as a gift."
The second man not to be outdone, told how his daughter began her career as a car
salesperson, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "She's so successful, in fact, in
the last six months she gave a friend two brand new cars as a gift."
The third man's son has worked his way up through a stock brokerage firm and in the
last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.
As the fourth man arrives, they tell him that they have been discussing their more...