Billy Jokes / Recent Jokes

The mom calls the husband a "bastard."
Then, the dad calls the wife a "bitch."
Little Billy goes to his mom and says "Mom? what is a bitch and a bastard?"
Mom says "Well, a bitch is a lady and a bastard is a gentlemen."
Later Billy goes outside and hears his neighbors, and hears "Put your penis in my vagina!"
So Billy goes to his mom and says "Mom? What is a penis and vagina?"
His mom says "Well Billy, a penis is a hat and a vagina is a coat."
Later, Billy sees his dad shaving and cuts himself and says "Shit!"
Billy said "Dad, what is shit?"
And then his dad says,"Well billy, Shit is a type of Shaving cream."
Billy goes to see his mom cutting the turkey and his mom cuts her finger and says "Fuck!"
Billy says to his mom, "Mom? what is fuck?"
"Well Billy, fuck is a way of cutting the turkey"
Later the guests more...

Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. “My name is Billy. What’s yours? ” asked the first boy. “Tommy, ” replied the second. “My Daddy’s an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living? ” asked Billy.
Tommy replied, “My Daddy’s a lawyer. ” “Honest? ” asked Billy. “No, just the regular kind”, replied Tommy.

Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked."Youll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!""Really? Howd you do that?" "I dropped the ball."

The teacher was asking her grade school students what their parents did for a living. "Ricky, you can be first. Tell us what your mother does all day."
"My mother is a doctor," Ricky proudly said.
"That's wonderful, Ricky. How about you, Susie?" the teacher asked.
Susie stood up and told the class that her father was a mailman.
"Thank you, Susie," said the teacher. "Now you, Billy. What does your father do?"
Standing up, Billy proudly announced, "My father drinks, murders people and steals their money."
Aghast at his comments, the teacher changed the subject and decided to pay a visit to Billy's house later in the day. When she arrived at his house and rang the doorbell, his father answered the door. She explained to him what Billy had said and asked if there might be a logical explanation for it.
"Actually, I'm an attorney, but how do I explain a thing like that to a seven year old?" the more...

A teacher was teaching a class about the big bang theory. She asked Billy to go outside and observe his surroundings.
She then asked...
"Billy did you see the sky?"
"Yes", said Billy.
"Did you see the sun?"
"Yes", said the boy.
"Did you see God?"
"No", said the boy.
The Teacher said, "So God really isn't there."
A little girl started to ask Billy some questions.
"Did you see the sky?"
"Yes" was the reply
"Did you see the sun?"
Again, "yes" was the answer.
"Do you see the teacher's brain? Because according to her, she doesn't have one!!!"

A kindergarten teacher was giving her students a homework assignment. She said, "Students, I know you can do this. If you are going anywhere tonight, then watch how your parents drive in relation to the stoplight. This means, watch how they drive and what they say when the stoplight turns green, when it turns red, and when it turns yellow."
So the following day, all the little kids came back with smiles on their faces because they knew that they had done their homework.
The teacher asks, "So did everyone do their homework last night?" Every kid says in unison, "Yes!"
The teacher continues. "So can anyone tell me what you do when the light turns green?" She looks past the outstretched hand of Little Johnny to pick Little Billy. Billy said, "You say, 'yes, this stupid light finally turned green!', and then stay at the same speed."
"Very good, Billy," the teacher said. Little Johnny was mad; he wanted to answer a more...

Every year, Grandma and her grandkids, Suzy, Jill, and Billy come stay with her over Christmas. And every Christmas Eve they would make a big bowl of cookie dough so they could make cookies on Christmas Day. And every time, the next morning the cookie dough would be gone. The grandma could never catch them, so this year she put metal bb's in the cookie dough. The next morning, the cookie dough was gone and soon Suzy came running downstairs.' 'Grandma, I went to the bathroom to pee and bb's came out.'' "Suzy," Grandma said. "I know you've been eating cookie dough. Sit down." Then Jill came down and said' 'Grandma, I went poo and there were bb's in it.'' "Jill, I know you've been eating cookie dough. Sit down." About five minutes later little Billy came.' 'Grandma something terrible has happened, I was jerking off in the garage and I shot the cat!''