Tommy Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Cow eating grass

    Hot 11 months ago

    All the boys and girls in Mrs. Dovers class are drawing. Mrs. Dover came over to Tommy and said, "What picture are you drawing?"
    Tommy said, "A cow eating grass."
    "Ok, where's the grass?"
    "The cow ate it all."
    "Ok, where's the cow?"
    "It went to go look for more grass."

    THE AIRPLANE CONVERSATION

    Hot 5 months ago

    A stranger was seated next to Little Tommy on the plane when the stranger turned to the boy and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." Little Tommy, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?" "Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?" "OK," said Little Tommy. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" "Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea.""Well, then," said Little Tommy, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh*t?"

    "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
    The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"
    "Yes, Father, it is."
    "And who was the woman you were with?"
    "Sure and I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
    "Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
    "I cannot say."
    "Was it Patricia Kelly?"
    "I'll never tell."
    "Was it Liz Shannon?"
    "I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."
    "Was it Cathy Morgan?"
    "My lips are sealed."
    "Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"
    "Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
    The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. Be off with you now."
    Tommy more...

    "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have not been to confession for six months. On top of that, I've been with a loose woman."
    The priest sighs. "Is that you, little Tommy O'Shaughnessy?"
    "Yes, Father, 'tis I."
    "And who might be the woman you were with?"
    "I shan't be tellin' you, Father. It would ruin her reputation."
    "Well, Tommy, I'm bound to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
    "I cannot say."
    "Was it Patricia Fitzgerald?"
    "I'll never tell."
    "Was it Lisa O'Shanter?"
    "I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."
    "Was it Cathy O'Dell?"
    "My lips are sealed."
    "Was it Fiona Mallory, then?"
    "Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
    The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy O' Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've more...

    "I bet that India would win against Pakistan and lost Rs 1,000." Tommy told Rob.
    "Hey, you bet Rs 1,000 for a single match?" Rob exclaimed.
    "No Man, I bet Rs 500 on that match." Tommy replied.
    "So, what happened to the other Rs 500?" Rob asked.
    "My Friend, I bet on the highlights too." Tommy replied.

  • Recent Activity