Audi Jokes / Recent Jokes
In the wake of the Exxon/Mobil deal and the AOL/Netscape deal, here are the latest mergers we can expect to see:
Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush and W.R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.
3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood.
John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become Deere Abi.
Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da.
Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become Honey I'm Home.
Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become MineAll Mine.
Federal Express and UPS merge to become FED UP.
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs.
Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become Fairwell Honeychild.
3M, J.C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become 3 Penney more...
Bill and Tim are out one day test driving cars. They happen to pull up to the same stop light side by side.
Bill yells out his window, "HEY TIM, Corvette?"
Tim yells back "YUP THIS IS A CORVETTE"
Tim yells again "HEY BILL, Audi?"
Bill jumps out of his car pulls up his shirt, points to his belly button and says, "Nope! I got an INNY!"
Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organsFairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell HoneychildPolygram records, Warner Brothers and Keebler: new company will be called Poly Warner CrackerW. R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics and Hale Business Systems: New company will be called Hale Mary Fuller Grace3M and Goodyear: New company will be called mmmGoodJohn Deere and Abitibi-Price: new company will be called Deere AbiHoneywell, Imasco, and Home Oil: New company will be called Honey I'm HomeDenison Mines, Alliance and Metal Mining: New company will be called Mine, All Mine3M, J. C. Penney and Canadian Opera Company: New company will be called 3 Penney OperaGrey Poupon and Dockers Pants: New company will be called Poupon PantsKnott's Berry Farm and National organization of Women: New company will be called Knott NOW! Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining: New compant will be called Zip Audi Do-Da
Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Company merge to become -Hale Mary Fuller Grace. Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become -Polly-Warner-Cracker. 3M and Goodyear merge to become -MMMGood. John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become -Deere Abi. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become -Zip Audi Do Da. Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become -Honey I'm Home. Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become -Mine All Mine. Federal Express and UPS merge to become -FED UP. Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become - Fairwell Honeychild. 3M, J. C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become-3 Penney Opera. Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women will merge and become- Knott NOW!
Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian customer agent stops them and tells them: "Itsa illegal to putta fiva people ina Quattro.""What do you mean its illegal?" asked the Englishmen."Quattro means four," replies the Italian official."Quattro is just the name of the automobile," the Englishmen says disbelievingly. "Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry 5 persons.""You canta pulla thata one ona me," replies the Italian customs agent."Quattro means four. You hava fiva people ina your car and you are therefore breakina the law". The Englishmen reply angrily, "You idiot! Call your supervisor over We want to speak to someone with more intelligence!""Sorry," responds the Italian official, "he canta come"."Hes a busy with two guys in a Uno".