Athletes Jokes / Recent Jokes
The following is a college entrance exam for athletes.
Time Limit: 3 Days.
Write Your Name: ________________________________________
(20 point bonus if spelled correctly).
1. What language is spoken in Germany?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions - OR - Give the FIRST name of Michael Jordan.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
____ A. build a bridge
____ (b) lead an army or
____ (c) WRITE A PLAY
4. What religion is the Pope? (check only one)
____ A. Jewish
____ (b) Catholic
____ (c) Hindu
____ (d) Polish
5. Advanced Math: How many feet is 0.0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 12?
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)
8. What are people in America's far NORTH called?
____ A. Westerners
____ (b) Southerners
____ (c) more...
The following is a college entrance exam for athletes.Time Limit: 3 Days.Write Your Name: ________________________________________(20 point bonus if spelled correctly).1. What language is spoken in Germany? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions - OR - Give the FIRST name of Michael Jordan.3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to____ A. build a bridge____ (b) lead an army or____ (c) WRITE A PLAY4. What religion is the Pope? (check only one)____ A. Jewish____ (b) Catholic____ (c) Hindu____ (d) Polish5. Advanced Math: How many feet is 0.0 meters? 6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 12? 7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)8. What are people in America's far NORTH called? ____ A. Westerners____ (b) Southerners____ (c) NORTHerners9. Spell the name of the current President of the US. (George Bush)_______________________________10. more...
The following is a college entrance exam for athletes. Time Limit: 3 Days. Write Your Name: ________________________________________(20 point bonus if spelled correctly). 1. What language is spoken in Germany? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions - OR - Give the FIRST name of Michael Jordan. 3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to____ (a) build a bridge____ (b) lead an army or____ (c) WRITE A PLAY4. What religion is the Pope? (check only one)____ (a) Jewish____ (b) Catholic____ (c) Hindu____ (d) Polish5. Advanced Math: How many feet is 0. 0 meters? 6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 12? 7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)8. What are people in America's far NORTH called? ____ (a) Westerners____ (b) Southerners____ (c) NORTHerners9. Spell the name of the current President of the US. (George more...
Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elf-abet! Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas? A: "I don't like sprouts"! Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? A: Missletoe! Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite. Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed? A: Because he had low elf esteem. Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens? A: So he can ho-ho-ho. Q: Where do polar bears vote? A: The North Poll. Q: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper? A: Ribbon hood. Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter? A: Because it's to far to walk. Q: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas? A: Forty feet of track - all straight! Q: What kind of bird can write? A: A PENguin. Q: How does Al Gore's household keep Christmas politically correct? A: On Christmas morning, they give the presents TO the tree. Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time? A: Sandy Claus! more...
The events of Sept. 11th have prompted a security overhaul for the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City.
Among the measures:
Testing athlete's urine for traces of terrorism
Eliminating Men's 200m Embassy Bomb event
Turning Salt Lake City into hyper-paranoid, walled-off religious compound
Assigning athletes from Arab nations around-the-clock "security buddy"
All open flames to be immediately extinguished
Investigating any and all reports of fine white powder
Strictly prohibiting foreigners from Olympic village
Warning athletes not to make any sudden movements
Hoping that terrorists, like everyone else, have no desire to visit Salt Lake City
Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elf-abet!
Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
A: "I don't like sprouts"!
Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.
Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.
Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll.
Q: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
A: Ribbon hood.
Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter?
A: Because it's to far to walk.
Q: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
A: Forty feet of track - all straight!
Q: What kind of bird can write?
A: A PENguin.
Q: How does Al Gore's household keep Christmas politically correct?
A: On Christmas more...
If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?