National Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BILL CLINTON'S FRIEND??
    The following is a list of dead people connected to Bill Clinton. Please
    note the following breakdown of causes, and then think about the statistical possibility of their being random occurrences (especially the plane crashes):
    1. James McDougal - Clinton's convicted Whitewater partner died of an
    apparent heart attack, while in solitary confinement. He was a key
    witness in Ken Starr's investigation.
    2. Mary Mahoney - A former White House intern was murdered July 1997 at a
    Starbucks Coffee Shop in Georgetown. The murder happened just after she
    was to go public with her story of sexual harassment in the White House.
    3. Vince Foster - Former White House counselor, and colleague of Hillary
    Clinton at Little Rock's Rose law firm. Died of a gunshot wound to the
    head, ruled a suicide.
    4. Ron Brown - Secretary of Commerce and former Democratic National
    Committee Chairman. Reported to have died more...

    A Sardarji joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone,"Abey saale Get me a coffee quickly!" The voice from the other side responded,"You fool you've dialed the wrong extension!
    Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?"
    "No", replied the trainee
    "It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!" The Sardarji shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, youfool?"
    "No.", replied the Managing Director. "Good!", replied the Sardarji and put down the phone!

    What is the Cuban national anthem?' 'Row Your Boat!''

    This is an extract of an National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Army Lieutenant General Reinwald about sponsoring a Boy Scout Troop on his military installation.
    Interviewer: "So, LTG Reinwald, what are you going to do with these young boys on their adventure holiday?"
    LTG Reinwald: "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."
    Interviewer: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"
    LTG Reinwald: "I don't see why; they'll be properly supervised on the range."
    Interviewer: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"
    LTG Reinwald: "I don't see how; we will be teaching them proper range discipline before they even touch a firearm."
    Interviewer: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."
    LTG Reinwald: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're more...

    God and the Deluge

    Hot 5 years ago

    (I don't remember where I heard this, but I don't think it was in church...)
    During a particularly wet winter, flood waters rise so high in one
    town that the national guard evacuates all the residents. One man
    stays behind, however, and when the water is waist-high, two national
    guardsmen in a boat motor past his house, checking for people left
    behind.
    "We're evacuating the town because of the flood! Jump in the boat
    and we'll carry you to safety!"
    But the man says, "No, don't bother; I've led a pious life, and the
    Lord will save me."
    The men in the boat shrug their shoulders and motor away. Later,
    when the water level has driven the man onto his roof, another boat
    appears.
    "Haven't you heard the town has been evacuated? Come on, we'll save
    you!"
    But the man sends them away again, saying "No, no, the Lord will save
    me!"
    The water level keeps rising until the man more...

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