Alike Jokes / Recent Jokes

Forwarded to me through a long chain of email addresses.
This came from a bookmark distributed by De Anza College.
How To Stay Stressed
Although the De Anza Health Office long been an advocate of stress
management, stress, tension, and burnout are still common complaints of
students, faculty, and staff alike. On account of this, we have come to
the following conclusion: YOU ALL WANT TO STAY STRESSED! The following
provides you with a few reasons why.
STRESS HELPS YOU SEEM IMPORTANT. Anyone as stressed as you must be
working very hard and, therefore,
is probably doing something very
crucial.
IT HELPS YOU TO MAINTAIN PERSONAL Anyone as busy as you are certainly
DISTANCE AND AVOID INTIMACY. can't be expected to form emotional
attachments to anyone. And let's
face it, you're not much fun to be
around anyway.
IT HELPS YOU AVOID RESPONSIBILITIES. Obviously you're too stressed to be
given any more work. This gets more...

Q: How are women and rocks alike? A: You skip across the flat ones.

Why are men and spray paint alike?
One squeeze and they're all over you.

Why are men and spray paint alike? One squeeze and they're all over you.

How are men and parking spots alike?
Good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small.

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.