Alike Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Q: Why are men and spray paint alike?
    A: One squeeze and they're all over you.

    Women Jokes

    Hot 5 months ago

    1. Why did God create woman?
    -To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
    _____
    2. If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
    -The swallow.
    _____
    3. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
    -Call her.
    _____
    4. Why do women fake orgasms?
    -Because they think men care.
    _____
    5. What is the definition of "making love"
    -Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
    _____
    6. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
    -Slow down and use a lubricant.
    _____
    7. What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
    - Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your [w]HOLE weak.
    _____
    8. How many sexists does it take to change a light bulb?
    -None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
    _____
    9. What's the difference between pre-menstrual tension and B. S. E?
    -One's mad cow disease; the other's an agricultural more...

    Forwarded to me through a long chain of email addresses.
    This came from a bookmark distributed by De Anza College.
    How To Stay Stressed
    Although the De Anza Health Office long been an advocate of stress
    management, stress, tension, and burnout are still common complaints of
    students, faculty, and staff alike. On account of this, we have come to
    the following conclusion: YOU ALL WANT TO STAY STRESSED! The following
    provides you with a few reasons why.
    STRESS HELPS YOU SEEM IMPORTANT. Anyone as stressed as you must be
    working very hard and, therefore,
    is probably doing something very
    crucial.
    IT HELPS YOU TO MAINTAIN PERSONAL Anyone as busy as you are certainly
    DISTANCE AND AVOID INTIMACY. can't be expected to form emotional
    attachments to anyone. And let's
    face it, you're not much fun to be
    around anyway.
    IT HELPS YOU AVOID RESPONSIBILITIES. Obviously you're too stressed to be
    given any more work. This gets more...

    How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike?
    They both have ornamental balls.

    How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike? They both have ornamental balls.

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