Advantage Jokes / Recent Jokes
Modena, Italy:
The Ferrari F1 Team fired their entire Pit- Crew Yesterday. The announcement was followed by Ferrari's Decision to take advantage of the English Government's "Work For the Dole" Scheme and hire unemployed youths from Liverpool.
The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths in Liverpool were able to remove a set of car wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds.
This was thought to be an excellent yet bold move by Ferrari Management, as most races are won & lost in the pits, Ferrari would have an advantage over every team.
However Ferrari expectations were easily exceeded, as during the Crews first practice session; not only were "da boyz from Bootle" able to change the tyres in under 6 seconds but within 12 seconds they had resprayed, rebadged, and had sold the vehicle over to the McLaren more...
Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed. That somehow they "lick" themselves clean. Well contrary to this popular belief, cats do NOT have some enzyme in their saliva that resembles Tide (with or without bleach).Cats, like their nemesis, the dog, do get dirty and have a variety of odors, from smelling like the outhouse where you camped last year to the same odor as your dog's breath. (Remember, your dog will try to eat anything.) Now we all know that cats HATE water. And we know that giving the cat a sedative to ease this process of a bath is out of the question.So, the best approach is both sneaky and direct. Remember now, this is not the dumb dog who can be led to tub with lies and a trail of Kibbles and Bits.Although your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness and total lack of concern for you, you have the advantage of size, strength, and the ability to wear protective garments.1. First, dress for the occasion. A 4-ply rubber wet suit is more...
There is one advantage to being a very large gentleman. My giant fat roll is like a fortress for my balls. Yup, I have the safest set of junk in the world. Hell, even I haven't found a way to get to them!
The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
What's the advantage of being married to a blonde?
You can park in handicapped zones.