Whale Jokes / Recent Jokes
What did the whale say to the dolphin when he pushed him??? I didn't do it on porpoise!!!
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan, when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of the shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blowjob, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen!"
...when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."
A woman had to do a lot of long distance travelling for her business. Having a strong fear of flying, she always made it a point to take her Bible along to read as she found it helped to relax her.
One day she found herself seated next to a man who gave a little chuckle when he saw her pull out her Bible and begin reading. After a while he turned to her and asked, "You don't actually believe all the stuff you read in there, do you?" "Yes, of course. It's the Bible," she replied.
"Then what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?" the man asked. "You mean Jonah. Yes, I believe that. It's in the Bible," she answered.
"So, how do you suppose he was able to survive all that time inside the whale?" asked the man. "I'm really not sure. I suppose when I get to heaven, I'll ask him," was her reply.
"And, if he's not in heaven?" asked the man, sarcastically.
"Then, you can ask him!" the more...
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him"
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him!"
What’s the odd one out?
1) A lobster
2) a whale
3) a guy that’s been hit by a bus?
The whale - the other two are both crustaceans