Vegetarian Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice
archery
by aiming for the red dot on their wife's forehead.
In fact,
this is one of the reasons why they had many wives.
Q. You're from India, aren't you? I have read so much
about
the country. All the wonderful places, the forests,
the
snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use
elephants
for transportation?
A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own
elephant. But
later to save air, we started elephant-pooling with
our
neighbors, You see elephants have an "emissions"
problem.....
Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is
trying to
encourage elephant-pooling schemes.
Q. Does India have TV?
A. No. We only have cable.
Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
A. Yes. Even the tigers are more...
An old mouse chanced to see a cat wearing a few beads round her neck. "Ah," said the mouse with joy, "that cat has turned vegetarian." Thereupon, he brought his offspring along to pay a call on the cat to express their gratitude. No sooner had they appeared than the cat gave a deep howl and devoured several mice in rapid succession. The old mouse turned tail in the nick of time and made good his escape. Sticking out his tongue, he cried: "My, my! That pussy is even more ferocious after turning vegetarian."
A man was talking to his friends about why he was a vegetarian.
"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals," he said, "I'm a vegetarian 'cause I HATE plants!"
To help the new wave of incoming students from India, here are the proper answers to awkward questions asked everyday: Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean? A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target.... Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the country. All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation? A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our house. But later, we started participating in elephant-ride sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air. You see elephants have an "emissions" problem..... Q. Does India have cars? A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to encourage ride-sharing schemes. Q. Does India have TV? A. No. We more...
An Indian abroad ran out of foreign exchange and went looking for the cheapest eating place in town. He located an Indian restaurant and went in. He found three sections:' European, Chinese, Indian'. He went into the Indian. It was divided into two:' Vegetarian and Non-vegetarian.' He went into the vegetarian, which was further subdivided into pure' Ghee and Vanaspati.' He went to the vanaspati section and found yet another division:' Cash and Credit.' Cheered at the prospect of not having to pay in foreign exchange he opted for the credit section. When he got to it he found the sign:' Exit: get out.'
How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb? Two--one to change it and one to check for animal ingredients.