Dot Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500, 000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped, both looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?". The dude replies "A 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. They cost $500, 000.""Thats a lotta money!" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?""Cause this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly. The old man asks "Can I take a look inside?""Sure" replies the owner. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "Thats a pretty nice car, alright!"Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the more...

    HONORABLE MENTIONS:

    My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally--but I didn't want to upset him.

    It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends.

    Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote.

    Home is where the house is.

    Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number.

    As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.

    It would be terrible if the Red Cross more...

    A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500, 000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped, both looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to him.

    The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?".

    The dude replies "A 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. They cost $500, 000."

    "That's a lotta money!" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"

    "Cause this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.

    The old man asks "Can I take a look inside?"

    "Sure" replies the owner.

    So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "That's a pretty nice more...

    Der next night vas Christmas
    Der night is vas schtill
    Der stockings vas hung
    By der chimney to fill.

    Der shildren vas snuggled
    All up in der bed
    And mama in nightgown
    And I up ahead...

    Vas searchink around
    In der dark for der toys
    Ve krept around kviet
    Not to make any noise.

    Und mudder vas carrying
    Der toys in her gown
    Showink her person
    From up her vaist down.

    Und ven she came near
    Der crib of our boy
    Our youngest und sveetest
    Our pride und our choy...

    His eyes vide open
    As he peeked from his cot...
    Und seen everythink
    Dot his mudder has got!

    He didn't even notice
    Der toys in her lap...
    He chust asked,
    "For whom ist dot little fur cap?"

    Und mudder said "hush"
    Und she laughed mit delight...
    I tink I give dat
    To your father tonight!

    An old, bearded shepherd, with a crooked staff, walks up to a stone pulpit and says. . . And lo it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far, from town to town, with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)". Abraha} thkught long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums, as long as he could have his way more...

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