Unto Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    And Jesus said unto his disciples, "Whom do men say that I am?"And His disciples answered unto Him, "Master, thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation of omnipotent ecclesiastical authority, the absolute, divine, sacerdotal monarch."And Jesus said, "What?"

    1. Look before you leap
    He who hesitates is lost
    2. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again
    Don't beat your head against a brick wall
    3. Absence makes the heart grow fonder
    Out of sight, out of mind
    4. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today
    Don't cross the bridge until you come to it
    5. Two heads are better than one
    Paddle your own canoe
    6. More haste less speed
    Time waits for no man
    7. You're never too old to learn
    You can't teach an old dog new tricks
    8. A word to the wise is sufficient
    Talk is cheap
    9. It's better to be safe than sorry
    Nothing ventured, nothing gained
    10. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth
    Beware of Greeks bearing gifts
    11. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you
    Nice guys finish last
    12. Hitch your wagon to a star
    Don't bite off more than you can chew
    13. Many hands make light work
    Too many cooks spoil the broth
    14. Don't judge a more...

    An old, bearded shepherd, with a crooked staff, walks up to a stone pulpit and says...
    And lo it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.
    And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far, from town to town, with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
    And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?"
    And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)".
    Abraha} thkught long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums, as long as he more...

    Dear GOD, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? -Norma
    Dear GOD, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have now? -Jane
    Dear GOD, Who draws the lines around the countries? -Nan
    Dear GOD, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? -Neil
    Dear GOD, What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything. -Jane
    Dear God, Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother! -Darla
    Dear GOD, Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. -Joyce
    Dear GOD, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway. Your friend. (But I am not going to tell you who I am)
    Dear GOD, Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our more...

    Dear GOD, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? -NormaDear GOD, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have now? -JaneDear GOD, Who draws the lines around the countries? -NanDear GOD, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? -NeilDear GOD, What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything. -JaneDear God, Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother! -DarlaDear GOD, Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. -JoyceDear GOD, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway. Your friend. (But I am not going to tell you who I am)Dear GOD, Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. -Tom L.Dear GOD, Please more...

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