ALL DIET FAQ's answered...
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a lamb eat? Leaves and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.
So a kabab is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
Its only the misconception, that narrow minded people have. So, Bottoms up!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO... Cocoa beans... another vegetable! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good more...
Chocolate, the 5th food group:Chocolate is a vegetable: Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans.
Beans = vegetable.Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.The problem: how to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: eat it in the parking lot.Diet tip: eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look more...
In the beginning, God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and
spinach, green and yellow vegetable of all kinds, so Man and
Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the
99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want
fries with that?"
And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her
figure that man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth chocolate. And woman gained pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And Satan brought forth ice cream. And woman gained pounds.
And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and
olive oil with which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed
its own platter.
And Man gained pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the
And God more...
To the citizens of the United States of America:
In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth
II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, Commonwealths and other territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine
whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium," and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing more...
Vegetable: "Hey, lets get married."
Fruit: "I'm sorry."
Vegetable: "We could secretly get married."
Fruit: "No, we couldn't."
Fruit: "Because we can't elope."
Can't elope = cantelope