Gained Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Church Meeting

    Hot 2 years ago

    Three churches - Baptist, Methodist, and Presbyterian - worked together to sponsor a community- wide revival. After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another.

    The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great for us! We gained 4 new families."

    The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! We gained 6 new families."

    The Presbyterian pastor said, "Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our 10 biggest troublemakers!"

    Heavenly Diet

    Hot 2 years ago

    And God populated the earth with cauliflower, spinach, broccoli and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would be able to live long and healthy lives.
    And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "Would you like fries with that?"
    And Man replied, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.
    And God created the healthful yogurt, that Woman might keep her figure that Man found so attractive.
    And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And Woman gained pounds.
    And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
    And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese.
    And there was ice cream for dessert. And Woman gained pounds.
    And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."
    And Satan more...

    And God populated the Earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
    And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double cheeseburger.
    And Satan said to Man "You want fries with that?" And Man said, "Super size them". And Man gained pounds.
    And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that Man found so fair.
    And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And woman gained pounds.
    And God said "Try my crispy fresh salad."
    And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits and shredded cheese.
    And there was ice cream for dessert. And Woman gained pounds.
    And God said "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."
    And Satan brought forth chicken-fried more...

    And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
    And Satan created McDonald's, and McDonald's brought forth the $3.20 double-cheeseburger, and Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?", and Man said, "Super size them."
    And Man gained pounds.
    And God created the healthful yogurt, that Woman might keep her figure that Man found so fair.
    And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt.
    And Woman gained pounds.
    And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
    And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese, and there was ice cream for dessert.
    And Woman gained pounds.
    And God said, "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."
    And Satan brought forth chicken- more...

    God vs Satan

    Hot 2 years ago

    And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.And Satan created McDonald's, and McDonald's brought forth the $3.20 double-cheeseburger, and Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?", and Man said, "Super size them."And Man gained pounds.And God created the healthful yogurt, that Woman might keep her figure that Man found so fair.And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt.And Woman gained pounds.And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese, and there was ice cream for dessert.And Woman gained pounds.And God said, "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."And Satan brought forth chicken- fried steak so big it needed its own platter.And more...

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