Tony Jokes / Recent Jokes

Asked by GQ whether she fancied Tony Blair, Paris Hilston answered, “Who?”
Attagirl! That’s exactly what a star is supposed to be! More of today's celebrities need to take a page from old-time stars the way Paris has done. For example, when Soviet Premier Nikita Kruschev came here on a visit and requested an evening out with Marilyn Monroe, someone had to tell her who he was. Because Marilyn was like, “Krushchev WHO??”
That’s my girl! That’s when stars knew how to be stars and actors knew their place. After all, saying “Who’s Tony Blair?” is much smarter than saying “Bush is a Nazi!”

A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.
"Hi, is Tony home?"
"No, he went to the store."
"Well, you mind if I wait?"
"No, come in."
They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."
Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.
They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together."
Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and leaves.
A more...

A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell. The wife answers.
"Hi, Sara, is Tony home?"
"No, Chris, he went to the store."
"Well, you mind if I wait?"
"No, come in."
They sit down and after a few minutes, the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one." Sara thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a 100 dollar bill on the table.
They sit there a while longer and Chris says, "I've just got to see the both of them. I'll give you another 100 bucks if I could see the both of them together."
Sara thinks about this and says what the hell opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her and throws another 100 bucks on the table, then says he can't wait any longer for Tony and leaves.
A more...

G.W. Bush was very depressed that people were saying he's stupid, so he calls his good friend, Queen Elizabeth who says, "Now George, what you need to do is surround yourself with smart people. Let me demonstrate." She calls in Tony Blair and asks, "Tony, your parents had a baby. It's not your sister, nor is it your brother. Who is it?"
"It's me," answers Mr. Blair.
George then calls Dick Cheney and says, "Dick, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it's not your brother. Who is it?"
"Gee, that's a tough one George," Cheney says. "Let me get back to you."
Cheney then calls Colin Powell and says, "Colin, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it's not your brother. Who is it?"
"It's me!" answers Colin Powell.
Cheney immediately calls Bush and says, "It's Colin Powell!"
"No, you fool. It's Tony Blair!" replies Bush.

Young Judy was having trouble with her computer, so she called Tony, the computer guy, over to her desk.Tony clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, Judy called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

He replied, "It was an ID Ten T Error."

A puzzled expression came over Judy's face. "An ID Ten T Error?

What's that? In case I need to fix it again."

Tony gave her a grin. "Haven't you ever heard of an ID Ten T Error before?"

"No," replied Judy.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."She wrote... I D 1 0 T

G.W.Bush was very depressed that people were saying he is stupid.
So he calls his good friend Queen Elizabeth, who says, "Now George, what you need to do is to surround yourself with smart people. Let me show you." She calls Tony Blair in and asks, "Tony, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"
Tony Blair replies, "It's me!"
So G.W. calls Dick Cheney and says, "Dick, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"
And Cheney says, "Wow, that's a tough one. Let me get back to you."
So Cheney calls Colin Powell and says, "Colin, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?" And Colin Powell says, "It's me!"
So Cheney calls Bush and says, "It's Colin Powell."
And Bush says, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

Along time ago there was this little Italian boy in the fields with his dad. Looking at his dad's hands, the boy say's "papa, you do many many things with your hands, tell me about your fingers."
"Well Tony," Papa said, "You see this first finger? You usea thisa one to pointata what evea you wanta. You see youa thumb? You usea thisa for turna pages in a book, and your ringa finger, you will use whena you get a married, and your little finga, you use to picka you nose. And the middle finga, well, I'lla tella
you about thata one when you getta married."
Well, Tony was satisfied with that and time past. It was now Tony's wedding day. It was a beautiful wedding, just before the bride and groom left, Tony went to have a talk with Papa. Tony said "Papa, many a year I use this finger to point at what I want, and I turna many a pages with my thumb, I've picked my nose with this little one, now I have a beautiful ring on my finger from the love more...