Robe Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    HO HO HO

    Hot 7 years ago

    A beautiful innocent young girl wants to meet Santa Claus so she puts on a robe and stays up late on Christmas Eve. Santa arrives, climbs down the chimney, and begins filling the socks. He is about to leave when the girl, who happens to be a gorgeous redhead, says in a sexy voice, "Oh Santa, please stay. Keep the chill away."
    Santa replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
    The girl drops the robe to reveal a sexy bra and panties and says in an even sexier voice, "Oh Santa, don't run a mile; just stay for a while..."
    Santa begins to sweat but replies, "HO HO HO, gotta go, gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
    The girl takes off her bra and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay."
    Santa wipes his brow but replies, "HO HO HO, gotta go, gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
    She loses the panties and says, "Oh more...

    The Pearly Gates

    Hot 7 years ago

    A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who`s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I`m Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City." Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it`s the minister`s turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary`s for the last forty-three years." Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." "Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi-driver, and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this more...

    A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell. The wife answers.
    "Hi, Sara, is Tony home?"
    "No, Chris, he went to the store."
    "Well, you mind if I wait?"
    "No, come in."
    They sit down and after a few minutes, the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one." Sara thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a 100 dollar bill on the table.
    They sit there a while longer and Chris says, "I've just got to see the both of them. I'll give you another 100 bucks if I could see the both of them together."
    Sara thinks about this and says what the hell opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her and throws another 100 bucks on the table, then says he can't wait any longer for Tony and leaves.
    A more...

    On their first night to be together, the newlywed couple go to change.
    The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her
    beautiful robe.
    The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe."
    The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. "Oh, oh,
    aaaahhh," he exclaims, "my word, you are so beautiful, let me take your
    picture.
    Puzzled, she asks, "My picture?"
    He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart
    forever."
    She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to
    shower.
    He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why do you wear a robe?
    We are married now."
    At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "Oh, oh, oh my, let me get a
    picture."
    He beams and asks, "Why?"
    She answers, "So I can get it enlarged."

    A cab driver reached the Pearly Gates where he was met by St. Peter. After reading the entry for the cabby in his Big Book, St. Peter told him to grab a silk robe and a golden staff and to proceed into Heaven.
    Next in line behind the cabby was a preacher who had been observing these proceedings with great interest. St. Peter read the preacher's entry in his Big Book and said, "Ok, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."
    Astonished, the preacher replied, "But, St. Peter, I am a man of the cloth! You gave the cab driver a silk robe and a golden staff. Surely I rate higher than a cabby."
    "Here we are simply interested in results," St. Peter explained. "When you preached, people slept. When the cabby drove his taxi, people prayed."

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