A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who`s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I`m Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City." Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it`s the minister`s turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary`s for the last forty-three years." Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." "Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi-driver, and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this more...
A beautiful innocent young girl wants to meet Santa Claus so she puts on a robe and stays up late on Christmas Eve. Santa arrives, climbs down the chimney, and begins filling the socks. He is about to leave when the girl, who happens to be a gorgeous redhead, says in a sexy voice, "Oh Santa, please stay. Keep the chill away."
Santa replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
The girl drops the robe to reveal a sexy bra and panties and says in an even sexier voice, "Oh Santa, don't run a mile; just stay for a while..."
Santa begins to sweat but replies, "HO HO HO, gotta go, gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
The girl takes off her bra and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay."
Santa wipes his brow but replies, "HO HO HO, gotta go, gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
She loses the panties and says, "Oh more...
Duane rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on
the group mailbox. While he is there, an attractive young lady comes out of the
apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. Duane smiles at the young lady
and she strikes up a conversation with him.
As they talk, her robe slips open, and it's quite obvious that she has nothing
on underneath. Poor Duane breaks out into a sweat trying to maintain eye
contact. After a few minutes, she places her hand on his arm and says, "Let's go
in my apartment, I hear someone coming..."
He goes with her into the apartment, and after she closes the door, she leans
against it allowing her robe to fall off completely. Being completely nude, she
purrs at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"
The flustered, embarrassed Duane stammers, clears his throat several times, and
finally squeaks out, "Oh, it's got to be your ears!"
On their first night to be together, the newlywed couple go to change.
The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her
The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe."
The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. "Oh, oh,
aaaahhh," he exclaims, "my word, you are so beautiful, let me take your
Puzzled, she asks, "My picture?"
He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart
She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to
He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why do you wear a robe?
We are married now."
At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "Oh, oh, oh my, let me get a
He beams and asks, "Why?"
She answers, "So I can get it enlarged."
A cab driver reached the Pearly Gates where he was met by St. Peter. After reading the entry for the cabby in his Big Book, St. Peter told him to grab a silk robe and a golden staff and to proceed into Heaven.
Next in line behind the cabby was a preacher who had been observing these proceedings with great interest. St. Peter read the preacher's entry in his Big Book and said, "Ok, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."
Astonished, the preacher replied, "But, St. Peter, I am a man of the cloth! You gave the cab driver a silk robe and a golden staff. Surely I rate higher than a cabby."
"Here we are simply interested in results," St. Peter explained. "When you preached, people slept. When the cabby drove his taxi, people prayed."