Tony Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Intelligent Riddle

    Hot 1 year ago

    John
    Kerry meets with the Queen of England. He asks her,
    "Your Majesty,
    how do you run such an efficient government? Are there
    any tips you can give
    to me?"
    "Well," says the Queen, "the most important
    thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
    Kerry frowns. "But how do I know the people around
    me are really intelligent?"
    The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy.
    You just ask them to
    answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushes
    a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair
    in here, would you?"
    Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, my Queen?"
    The Queen smiles, "Answer me this, please, Tony.
    Your mother and father have a child. It is not your
    brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
    Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "That
    would be me."
    "Yes! Very good," says more...

    Leadership

    Hot 7 years ago

    While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent.
    "I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen."Allow me to demonstrate."
    She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
    Tony Blair responds, "It

    Jessica Simpson has a new fragrance that she claims is inspired by boyfriend Tony Romo. The fragrance starts out smelling great but fades quickly.

    A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell. The wife answers.
    "Hi, Sara, is Tony home?"
    "No, Chris, he went to the store."
    "Well, you mind if I wait?"
    "No, come in."
    They sit down and after a few minutes, the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one." Sara thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a 100 dollar bill on the table.
    They sit there a while longer and Chris says, "I've just got to see the both of them. I'll give you another 100 bucks if I could see the both of them together."
    Sara thinks about this and says what the hell opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her and throws another 100 bucks on the table, then says he can't wait any longer for Tony and leaves.
    A more...

    Asked by GQ whether she fancied Tony Blair, Paris Hilston answered, “Who?”
    Attagirl! That’s exactly what a star is supposed to be! More of today's celebrities need to take a page from old-time stars the way Paris has done. For example, when Soviet Premier Nikita Kruschev came here on a visit and requested an evening out with Marilyn Monroe, someone had to tell her who he was. Because Marilyn was like, “Krushchev WHO??”
    That’s my girl! That’s when stars knew how to be stars and actors knew their place. After all, saying “Who’s Tony Blair?” is much smarter than saying “Bush is a Nazi!”

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