Thumbs Jokes

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    Introduction: Why Do We Need Humans?
    So you've decided to get yourself a human being. In doing so, you've joined the millions of other cats who have acquired these strange and often frustrating creatures. There will be any number of times, during the course of your association with humans, when you will wonder why you have bothered to grace them with your presence.
    What's so great about humans, anyway? Why not just hang around with other cats? Our greatest philosophers have struggled with this question for centuries, but the answer is actually rather simple:
    THEY HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS.
    Which makes them the perfect tools for such tasks as opening doors, getting the lids off of cat food cans, changing television stations and other activities that we, despite our other obvious advantages, find difficult to do ourselves. True, chimps, orangutans and lemurs also have opposable thumbs, but they are nowhere as easy to train.
    How And When to Get Your Human's more...

    Pass a note to the organist asking whether he/she plays requests
    See if a yawn really is contagious
    Slap your neighbour. See if they turn the other cheek. If not, raise your hand and tell the priest
    Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs
    Listen for your preacher to use a word beginning with 'A' then 'B and so on through the alphabet. You may get stuck on 'Q' unless your preacher is preaching against homosexuality.
    Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews ahead of you. After the service, credit yourself with 10 points for every marble that made it to the front.
    Using church notice-sheets or newcomers cards for raw materials, design, test and modify a collection of paper airplanes.
    Start from the back of the church and try to crawl all the way to the front, under the pews, without being noticed.
    Raise your hand and ask for permission to go to the lavatory.
    Whip out a hankie and blow your nose. Vary more...

    Pass a note to the organist asking whether he/she plays requests. See if a yawn really is contagious.
    Slap your neighbor. See if they turn the other cheek. If not, raise your hand and tell the preacher.
    Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs.
    Listen for your preacher to use a word beginning with 'A' then 'B' and so on through the alphabet.
    Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews ahead of you. After the service, credit yourself with 10 points for every marble that made it to the front.
    Using church bulletins or visitor cards for raw materials, design, test and modify a collection of paper airplanes.
    Start from the back of the church and try to crawl all the way to the front, under the pews, without being noticed.
    Raise your hand and ask for permission to go to the rest room.
    Whip out a hankie and blow your nose. Vary the pressure exerted on your nostrils and trumpet out a rendition of your favorite more...

    1. Introduction: Why Do We Need Humans?

    So you've decided to get yourself a human being. In doing so, you've joined the millions of other cats who have acquired these strange and often frustrating creatures. There will be any number of times, during the course of your association with humans, when you will wonder why you have bothered to grace them with your presence. What's so great about humans, anyway? Why not just hang around with other cats? Our greatest philosophers have struggled with this question for centuries, but the answer is actually rather simple:

    THEY HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS.

    Which makes them the perfect tools for such tasks as opening doors, getting the lids off of cat food cans, changing television stations and other activities that we, despite our other obvious advantages, find difficult to do ourselves.

    True, chimps, orangutans and lemurs also have opposable thumbs, but they are nowhere as easy to train.

    2. How more...

    1. Introduction: Why Do We Need Humans?
    So you've decided to get yourself a human being. In doing so, you've joined the millions of other cats who have acquired these strange and often frustrating creatures. There will be any number of times, during the course of your association with humans, when you will wonder why you have bothered to grace them with your presence. What's so great about humans, anyway? Why not just hang around with other cats? Our greatest philosophers have struggled with this question for centuries, but the answer is actually rather simple:
    THEY HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS.
    Which makes them the perfect tools for such tasks as opening doors, getting the lids off of cat food cans, changing television stations and other activities that we, despite our other obvious advantages, find difficult to do ourselves.
    True, chimps, orangutans and lemurs also have opposable thumbs, but they are nowhere as easy to train.
    2. How And When to Get Your Human's more...

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