Often Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Alternative Cybersex

    Hot 1 year ago

    This is one of the funniest pieces I have ever come across. It is apparently from a real log...
    Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
    Wellhung:Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
    Sweetheart:I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
    Wellhung:I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner... it smells funny.
    Sweetheart:I want you. Would you like to screw more...

    Sex therapist

    Hot 5 years ago

    A noted sex therapist realizes that people often lie about the frequency of their encounters, so he devises a test to factually tell how often someone has sex.
    To prove his theory, he fills up an auditorium with people, and goes down the line, asking each person to smile. Using the size of the person's smile, the therapist is able to accurately guess their frequency of sexual activity.
    Finally, he comes to the last man in line, who is grinning from ear to ear. "Twice a day," the therapist guesses, but is surprised when the man says no. "Once a day, then?" Again the answer is no. "Twice a week?" "No." "Twice a month?" "No." The man finally says yes when the doctor gets to "once a year".
    The therapist is angry that his theory isn't working, and asks the man, "What the heck are you so happy about?"
    The man answers, "Tonight's the night!"

    Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex.

    Then again, maybe he does...

    Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

    Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

    Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

    Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to fuck me?

    Wellhung: OK

    Sweetheart: We're in my more...

    Evaluating progress

    Hot 3 years ago

    A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused.Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.Active socially: Drinks heavily.Alert to company developments: An office gossip.Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job.Average: Not too bright.Bridge builder: Likes to compromise.Character above reproach: Still one step ahead of the law.Charismatic: No interest in any opinion but his own.Competent: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.Conscientious and careful: Scared.Consults with co-workers often: Indecisive, confused, and clueless.Consults with supervisor often: Very annoying.Delegates responsibility effectively: Passes the buck well.Demonstrates qualities of leadership: Has a loud voice.Displays excellent intuitive judgement: Knows when to disappear.Displays great dexterity and agility: Dodges and evades superiors well.Enjoys job: Needs more to do.Excels in sustaining concentration but avoids confrontations: Ignores everyone.Excels in more...

    A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the
    habit.
    One Halloween night,
    she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way
    home.
    When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red
    horns, long tail, and pitchfork.
    "Who are you?" he asked.
    "I'm the Devil," she responded."Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister."

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