Attention Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Soldier at Attention

    Hot 1 year ago

    Mr. Smith got himself a new secretary. She was young, pretty, sweet and polite. One day while taking dictation she noticed his fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said,' Mr. Smith, do you know your barracks door is open?'

    He didn't immediately understand her remark but later on he glanced down and saw his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new secretary. He called her in and asked,' By the way Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door was open this morning, did notice the soldier standing at attention?'

    ' Why, no Mr. Smith,' she replied sweetly,' all I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two old duffel bags.'

    Insurance Claim

    Hot 1 year ago

    (name withheld) Minnetonka, MN 55345
    Superior Health Insurance ATTN: Claims Review 1423 W. 90th St. New York, NY 05016
    Dear Sir:
    This letter is in response to your recent letter requesting a more detailed explanation concerning my recent internment at Methodist Hospital. Specifically, you asked for an expansion in reference to Block 21A.(3) of the claim form (reason for hospital visit). On the original form, I put "Stupidity". I realize now that this answer was somewhat vague and so I will attempt to more fully explain the circumstances leading up to my hospitalization.
    I had needed to use the restroom and had just finished a quick bite to eat at the local burger joint. I entered the bathroom, took care of my business, and just prior to the moment in which I had planned to raise my trousers, the locked case that prevents theft of the toilet paper in such places came undone and, feeling it striking my knee, unthinkingly, I immediately, and with unnecessary more...

    Insurance Claim

    Hot 1 year ago

    (name withheld) Minnetonka, MN 55345Superior Health Insurance ATTN: Claims Review 1423 W. 90th St. New York, NY 05016Dear Sir:This letter is in response to your recent letter requesting a more detailed explanation concerning my recent internment at Methodist Hospital. Specifically, you asked for an expansion in reference to Block 21A.(3) of the claim form (reason for hospital visit). On the original form, I put "Stupidity". I realize now that this answer was somewhat vague and so I will attempt to more fully explain the circumstances leading up to my hospitalization.I had needed to use the restroom and had just finished a quick bite to eat at the local burger joint. I entered the bathroom, took care of my business, and just prior to the moment in which I had planned to raise my trousers, the locked case that prevents theft of the toilet paper in such places came undone and, feeling it striking my knee, unthinkingly, I immediately, and with unnecessary force, returned the lid more...

    Jinnahs dad

    Hot 2 years ago

    A Pakistani officer broke into the house of a professor in East Pakistan, formerly Bangladesh, and saw three pictures on the wall: Kazi Nazrul Islam, Mr Jinnah and Gurudev Tagore. He assumed that Nazrul Islam's photograph was that of a Hindu so he shot it with his revolver. Then he sprang to attention and saluted the portrait of Mr Jinnah. And who is this fellow with the long hair and beard?' demanded the officer.
    'Sir, that is the father of Quaid-e-Azem Jinnah,' replied the quickwitted professor. The soldier sprang to attention and saluted the portrait of Tagore.

    Our bed!

    Hot 8 months ago

    At a small parish in rural England there lived a priest, and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray.
    She went to the priest and told him, "Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon."
    The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property as 'our' not 'your.'
    Several days later, the same nun noticed that the hedge needed to be trimmed.
    She again went to the priest and told him, "Father, I've noticed that your...I mean our hedge needs to be trimmed."
    The priest thanked her for again bringing something to his attention and this time asked her if she had seen his watch that had gone missing. She said she hadn't, but assured him she would look for it.
    A few days later the parish received word that the bishop would be coming for a visit. The entire parish was busy readying more...

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