Summer Jokes / Recent Jokes

The haze and warmth of the summer evening added to the atmosphere of passion on the small lake, deserted except for a canoe drifting lazily on its surface. In it, clasped in close embrace, lay George and Marilyn, gazing into each other's eyes and murmuring the special phrases of lovers.

With a delicious silken rustle that set the canoe to gently rocking, she pressed herself still closer to him.

"Georgie," she sighed, "will you love me always?" "Of course, my darling," he whispered tenderly. "Which way would you like me to try first?"

A very wealthy lawyer retreated for several weeks each year to his summer home in the backwoods of Maine. Every summer, he would invite one friend or another to stay with him there for a week or two.
One summer he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to visit him. The friend, happy to get anything free from a lawyer, eagerly agreed. When the time came, they spent a wonderful time, getting up early every morning and enjoying the great outdoors.
One morning, as the lawyer and his Czechoslovakian friend were picking raspberries and blueberries for their breakfast, they were approached by two huge bears–a male and a female.
The lawyer noticed them in time to run for cover. His friend, however, was not so lucky. The male bear reached him and swallowed him whole.
Seeing this, the lawyer ran back to his Mercedes and raced for the nearest town to get the local sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his high-powered rifle and raced back to the berry area with the lawyer. All the while, more...

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice, "The big sissy."

Top 10 Summer Camps you should not send your kids to:
10. Tommy Lee's--- Camp Kickachickee
9. Lorena Bobbit's-- Camp Cutaweewee
8. Tanya Harding's-- Camp Wackaneenee
7. Kenneth Star's-- Camp Catchacrookee
6. Louis Farakahn's-- Camp Killawhitey
5. O.J. Simpson's-- Camp Killachickee
4. Michael Jackson's- Camp Wannabewhitey
3. President Clinton's- Camp Getahoochie
2. Ellen Degeneras's- Camp Lickacoochie And the number one camp not to send your kid to:
1. Monica Lewinsky's- Camp Suckapeepee

Top 10 Summer Camps you should not send your kids to: 10. Tommy Lee's--- Camp Kickachickee9. Lorena Bobbit's-- Camp Cutaweewee8. Tanya Harding's-- Camp Wackaneenee7. Kenneth Star's-- Camp Catchacrookee6. Louis Farakahn's-- Camp Killawhitey5. O.J. Simpson's-- Camp Killachickee4. Michael Jackson's- Camp Wannabewhitey3. President Clinton's- Camp Getahoochie2. Ellen Degeneras's- Camp Lickacoochie And the number one camp not to send your kid to: 1. Monica Lewinsky's- Camp Suckapeepee

What do you call six weeks of rain in Scotland?Summer!

I see the Olympic Torch has finally arrived in China for the summer games. Which is ironic, because it was probably made there in the first place!

They could've just kept it there & saved a lot of gas money.