Sheriff Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Lying Politicians

    Hot 1 year ago

    A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when, all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road, and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field.The old farmer, after seeing what had happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole to bury the politicians.A few days later the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone.The old farmer said he had buried them.The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?"The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."

    The New Deputy

    Hot 6 years ago

    The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer, who was not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer, went in to try out for the job.
    "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?"
    "11" he replied.
    The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but, in one way, he's right."
    "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"
    "Today and tomorrow."
    He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
    "Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
    Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."
    "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"
    So, Gomer wandered over to the barbershop where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First more...

    Politicians' Bus

    Hot 5 years ago

    A bus carrying a group of politicians was travelling down a country road when, suddenly, it ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer, after seeing what had happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole to bury the politicians.
    A few days later the local sheriff came out. After examining the crashed bus, he asked the farmer what had become of all the politicians.
    The old farmer said he had buried them.
    The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?"
    The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."

    Getting a new deputy

    Hot 5 years ago

    The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job."Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?""11" he replied.The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right.""What two days of the weekstart with the letter 'T'?""Today and tomorrow."He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself."Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know.""Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant."It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"

    It Could Have Been Worse

    Hot 3 years ago

    There was an old country sheriff who always said, "It could have been worse." No matter what happened, the old sheriff always had the same answer: "It could have been worse."

    One day, two deputies in the sheriff's office answered an emergency call at a farmhouse. When they walked in, they found the nude bodies of a man and a woman in the bedroom. They had been shot to death. When they went to the living room, they found the body of a man with a gun at his side.

    "No doubt about it," one deputy said to the other. "This was a double murder and suicide. This guy came home and found his wife in bed with somebody else and shot them both. Then he shot himself."

    "You're right," the other deputy replied. "Double murder and suicide. But I'll bet you when the sheriff gets here he's going to say "it could have been worse."

    "No way. How could it be worse? There are three people in the more...

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