Subway Jokes / Recent Jokes
The subway car was packed. It was rush hour, and many people wereforced to stand. One particularly cramped woman turned to the manbehind her and said, "Sir, if you don't stop poking me with your thing, I'm going to the cops!""I don't know what you're talking about miss - that's just my pay checkin my pocket." "Oh really" she spat." then you must have some job, because that's the fifth raise you've had in the last half hour."
An old Jewish man gets on the subway in New York and sees a priest.
He notices the white collar, and decides to ask what it's about.
"Why do you wear your collar backwards?" The old Jewish man asks.
The Priest, being polite, responds
"Well, Sir, because I'm a father."
"I am a father too, but I wear my collar normal."
"Yes," the Priest begins, "but I am father of many"
The old Jewish man shakes his head. "I have 8 children, and so many grandchildren I don't know most their names, and still my collar isn't backwards"
The priest, aggitated, slams his fist in his palm "Sir! I am the father of hundreds!"
The elderly Jewish man, beweildered, stands to get off the subway, and leans over to the priest "Mister, maybe you should start wearing your pants backwards."
An old Jewish man was once on the subway and he sat down next to a younger man. He noticed that the young man had a strange kind of shirt collar. Having never seen a priest before, he asked the man, "Excuse me sir, but why do you have your shirt collar on backwards?"
The priest became a bit flustered but politely answered "I wear this collar because I am a Father."
The Jewish man thought a second and responded "Sir I am also a Father but I wear my collar front-ways. Why do you wear your collar so differently?"
The priest thought for a minute and said "Sir, I am the father for many."
The Jewish man quickly answered "I too am the father of many. I have four sons, four daughters and too many grandchildren to count. But I wear my collar like everyone else does. Why do you wear it your way?"
The priest who was beginning to get exasperated thought and then blurted out "Sir, I am the father for hundreds and hundreds more...
Two small-town merchants were visiting New York City for the first time to attend a conference.
There was a large party thrown, with lots of food and drink. At the end of the party, they both staggered outside.
One guy crossed the street, while the other stumbled into a subway entrance.
When the 1st guy reached the other side of the street, he noticed the other emerging from the subway stairs.
"Where ya been?"
he slurred.
"I don't know," gushed the other guy, "but you should see the train set that guy has in his basement!"
Mayor Bloomberg is scheduled to take the wraps off the city's own "NYC" brand of free condoms.
The only catch is users will have to go outside to smoke afterwards.
The city-branded condoms will come in packets with a variety of colors representing the different subway lines. Because nothing says sexy like the New York City subway system.
New euphemism for sex: Taking the F-train to Brooklyn.
Women in all five boroughs are already bracing themselves for the latest line from their partners: "Hey, baby, there's another train coming right behind this one."
A boy walks onto a crowded subway and takes a seat in front of a heavy women.
The woman says "If you were a gentelman, you would stand up and ley someone else sit down".
The boy replies "and if you were a lady, you would stand up and let four people sit down".