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    Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first.
    Your Clothes
    1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
    2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
    3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
    ---------------
    Preparing for the Birth
    1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
    2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
    3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
    ---------------
    The Layette
    1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
    2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
    3rd baby: more...

    An Act of Charity

    Hot 2 years ago

    An Act of Charity
    One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to consider giving a little
    extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be
    able to pick out three hymns. After the offering plates were passed, the
    pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had contributed a $1,000
    bill. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his
    congregation, and said he'd like to personally thank the person who had
    placed the money in the plate. A very quiet, elderly, saintly widow shyly
    raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she
    made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave
    so much and asked her to pick out three hymns. Her eyes brightened as she
    looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the
    building and said, "
    I'll take him and him and him."

    Magnet

    Hot 2 years ago

    Magnet
    Mr. Smythe had been giving his second-grade students a short lesson on science. He had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. And now it was question time...
    "Class," said he, "My name begins with the letter `M' and I pick up things.... What am I?"
    A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother!"

    Pondering old age

    Hot 7 years ago

    How do I know that my youth is all spent?
    Well, my get up and go has got up and went.
    But in spite of it all I am able to grin
    when I recall where my get up has been.
    Old age is golden-so I've heard it said-
    but sometimes I wonder when I get into bed,
    with my ears in a drawer and my teeth in a cup,
    my eyes on the table until I wake up.
    Ere sleep dims my eyes I say to myself,
    "Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?"
    And I'm happy to say as I close my door,
    my friends are the same, perhaps even more.
    When I was young, my slippers were red,
    I could pick up my heels right over my head.
    When I grew older, my slippers were blue,
    but still I could dance the whole night through.
    But now I am old, my slippers are black,
    I walk to the store and puff my way back.
    The reason I know my youth is all spent,
    my get up and go has got up and went.
    But I really don't mind when I more...

    What's Your Diagnosis?

    Hot 6 years ago

    A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace the aging doctor there. The older doctor suggested that the younger doctor accompany him as he made his house calls so that the people of the community could become accustomed to him.
    At the first house they visited, the younger doctor listened intently as the older doctor and an older lady discussed the weather, their grandchildren and the latest church bulletin.
    After some time, the older doctor asked his patient how she had been feeling.
    "I've been a little sick to my stomach," she replied.
    "Well," said the older physician, "you've probably been over doing it a bit with the fresh fruit. Why don't you cut back on the amount of fresh fruit you eat and see if that helps."
    As they left the house, the younger doctor asked how the older doctor had reached his diagnosis so quickly.
    "You didn't even examine that woman," the younger doctor stated.
    "I didn't have more...

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