Student Jokes / Recent Jokes

A student is taking his final exams. He takes his seat in the exam hall, stares at the questions and then in a fit of desperate inspiration, he takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt, pants and socks.
The teacher, alarmed, approached him and asked, "What in the world are you doing?!"
The student answered, "I'm following the instructions. The test paper clearly states that we should answer the questions in brief."

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. Itwas a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenlythere was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?""Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters.""Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days."The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title theassignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an evenlouder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funnyBilly?""Well miss, I just saw both of your garters."Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe,"I don't want to see you for three weeks."Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. Soshe bends over to more...

The new Yeshiva student

Hot 4 years ago

As was the custom in the small town, the new student at the Yeshiva was invited to the richest merchant's home for Friday night dinner. The new student was tall and handsome, the merchant had a pretty daughter, so as the Friday nights passed by, the glances between the young people got bolderand more passionate. When their love could no longer be ignored, the pappa invited the young student to his study for an after dinner liquor and conversation.
The pappa asked "What are your intentions towards my daugter?"
The student replied, "Sir, I love your daughter and wish to marry her!"
The pappa asked " How do you intend to keep her in the style to which she is accustomed?"
The student replied "Sir, I will study very hard and the good Lord will provide"
The pappa then asked again, " But what will you do when the children arrive?"
The student replied " Sir, I will study even harder and the good Lord will surely more...

Oklahoma

Hot 4 years ago

At a southern university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes.
"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "what is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," said the student.
"And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.
"Elation," she said.
"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "what about the opposite of woe?"
The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be'giddy up' ".

Laughter Galore !!!

Hot 6 years ago

Hubby: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office.Why? Wife: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.Hubby: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Wife: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"__________________________________________Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.Girl: Well, that's because we aren't married yet! __________________________________________Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap! __________________________________________Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"Husband to wife: "Golfing more...

The World History

Hot 2 years ago

[Original Author: Richard Lederer, St Paul's School]
One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a
student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably
genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through
college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.
The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by
Camelot. The climate in the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of
the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular
cube. The pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were
created from an more...

ABC's

Hot 3 years ago

Student: Can I use the bathroom?
Teacher: Okay but first say your ABC's.

Students: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ

Teacher: Where's the P?
Student: Its running down my leg!