Sleepy Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day Adam was at school. It was time for religion class. Adam brought a small pin-prick he found in the hall. When it was time for class, Adam had to sit next to the sleepy kid. The teacher asked the first question. "Who is our savior?" Adam grabbed the prick and poked the sleepy kid with it. The sleepy kid screamed "JESUS CHRIST!". The teacher said "Very good!". The teacher asked the next question. "Who was the first person?". Adam grabbed the prick and shoved it into the sleepy kid. "ADAM!" the kid screamed. The teacher said "Very good!". The final question came and the question was "What did Eve say after they had their last child?" Adam grabbed the prick and put hole in the sleepy kid. The sleepy kid screamed "ADAM! IF YOU STICK YOUR PRICK INSIDE ME AGAIN, I AM GOING TO BREAK IT IN HALF!". The teacher collapsed.

We need
= I want
It's your decision
= The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want
= You'll pay for this later
We need to talk
= I need to complain
You're...so manly
= You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You're certainly attentive tonight!
= Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!
= I've got my period
This kitchen is so inconvenient
= I want a new house
I want new curtains
= and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
I need wedding shoes
= the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
Hang the picture there
= NO, I mean hang it there
I heard a noise
= I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me?
= I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me?
= I did something today you're not going to like
I'll be ready in a minute
= kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
Is my butt more...

Woman's English
-----------------

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later!

We need to talk = I need to complain.

Sure. . . go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be more...

I'm hungry = I'm hungry.
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.
I'm tired = I'm tired.
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I want to fondle you.
What's wrong? = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.
What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex?
I love you. = Let's have sex now.
I love you, too. = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = I liked it better before.
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = $50 and it more...

I'm hungry = I'm hungry.I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.I'm tired = I'm tired.Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.Nice dress! = Nice cleavage! You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I want to fondle you.What's wrong? = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex? I love you. = Let's have sex now.I love you, too. = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now! Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = I liked it better before.Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = $50 and it doesn't look that much different! Let's talk. = I am trying to impress you more...