Sleepy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Sleepy!
Sleepy who?
Sleepying like a log!

A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO WHAT A MAN IS REALLY SAYING: I'M HUNGRY. I'm hungry. I'M SLEEPY. I'm sleepy. I'M TIRED. I'm tired. I'VE GOTTA GO. Get out of the way and stay away until it clears. WHAT'S WRONG? I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of this. WHAT'S WRONG? What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR. I liked it better before. YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.$50 and it doesn't look that much different! YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR. For $50 they should have GIVEN YOU hair! LET'S TALK, HONEY. I'm trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person, and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me. WILL YOU MARRY ME? I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. WILL YOU MARRY ME? I might as well get tax benefits for going through these talks.

Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer? He wanted her to hit the hay!

"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.
"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.
"I'm tired" = I'm tired.
"I've gotta pee" = Get out of the way.
"I've gotta GO" = Get out of the way and stay away until it clears
"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I get your coat?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Let me get your door." = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.
"What's wrong?" = I don't see why are you making such a big deal out of more...

THE MEN'S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're. .. so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost more...

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to
Does my bum look big in this? = Tell me
I'm beautiful
Do what you want = You'll pay for this
later
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you
moron!
Are you listening to me?? = Too late,
you're dead
You have to learn to communicate = Just
agree with me
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have
flabby thighs
You're so.. manly = You need a shave and
you sweat a lot
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for
something expensive
It's your decision = The correct decision
should be obvious by now
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is
sex all you ever think
about??
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your
shoes and find a good
game on TV
How much do you love me? = I did something
today that more...

What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

I'm hungry = I'm hungry

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

I'm tired = I'm tired

What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

I like that one better (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!