Russia Jokes / Recent Jokes

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Russia!
Russia who?
Russia though you meal and you'll be sick!

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Moscow, Russia:First it was a flight in a MiG fighter jet. Then 30 seconds of weightlessness in a cosmonaut-training device.Soon thrill-seeking tourists may be able to ride in a Russian submarine, tank or missile ship.Pressed for money and burdened with surplus weaponry since the end of the Cold War, Russia is pioneering a new fad: military tourism.The only requirements are a taste for adventure and plenty of cash.As the plane goes into a dive from 30,000 feet, passengers in its padded zero-gravity chamber suddenly rise from the aircraft's floor.The price for floating free for half a minute: $4,000.

When the Indians were being delivered their new fleet of fighter jets, an instructor espically came from Russia to explain the Indidan Air Force & Army the simplictiy of the operation of the planes (from Russia because India buys their planes from Russia).
So when the first plane was delivered, the instructor told the Indian Army " this has 3 buttons, the one on the top is to take off, the one on the left_inner is to go left_inner and the one on the right is to go right."
The soldiers nodded in understanding. But one soldier raised his hand and asked " But sir, how will we get down?"
The instuctor replied "Oh! Leave that to the Pakistanis".

An African leader makes an official trip to Russia. At the end of the trip, the Russian leader tells the African that in Russia they have a custom performed at farewells called "Russian Roulette" to demonstrate one's courage. The Russian whips out a revolver, loads one chamber, gives the cylinder a spin, puts the gun to his head and pulls the trigger..... CLICK..... empty chamber. He hands the revolver to his African guest, and says, "Your turn." Not to be outdone, the African repeats the ritual.... CLICK..... empty.
The next year, the Russian visits the African country. At the end of the trip, the African tells his Russian peer that he was very impressed with "Russian Roulette" and that he has spent the last year devising an African ritual to demonstrate one's courage. The African then disappears through a door only to reappear a few minutes later smiling, and says, "Your turn."
The African escorts the Russian through the door. In the more...

For many years, the border between Poland and Russia was volatile. Due to a political shift, a farmer found that he was no longer a Russian, but had become a Pole. Thrilled, he told his wife, "Thank God! No more of those freezing Russian winters."

When the indians were being delivered their new fleet of fighter jets, an instructor espically came from russia to explain the indian air force & army the simplictiy of the operation of the planes (from russia because india buys their planes from russia)
So when the first plane was delivered, the instructor told the indian army ” this has 3 buttons, the one on the top is to take off, the one on the left is to go left and the one on the right is to go right. ”
The soldiers nodded in understanding. But one soldier raised his hand and asked ” but sir, how will we get down? ”
The instuctor replied “oh! Leave that to the pakistanis”

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Moscow, Russia: First it was a flight in a MiG fighter jet. Then 30 seconds of weightlessness in a cosmonaut-training device. Soon thrill-seeking tourists may be able to ride in a Russian submarine, tank or missile ship. Pressed for money and burdened with surplus weaponry since the end of the Cold War, Russia is pioneering a new fad: military tourism. The only requirements are a taste for adventure and plenty of cash. As the plane goes into a dive from 30, 000 feet, passengers in its padded zero-gravity chamber suddenly rise from the aircraft's floor. The price for floating free for half a minute: $4, 000.