Click Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Three brothers

    Hot 5 years ago

    There were three brothers who bought a three story house. The eldest brother had the top floor, the middle had the middle floor, and the youngest got the bottom floor.
    A little while after they moved in, the eldest brother brought over his girlfriend. During that night, the two younger brothers heard the following sounds: Click, swish, fftt, ahhh.
    The next morning, the younger brothers asked their brother what the noise they'd heard last night was.
    He replied, "Click-turned off the light. Swish-ran across the room. Fftt-farted, and Ahhh-landed on my girl."
    The middle brother was excited by that, so he brought over his girlfriend the next night.
    During that night, the two other brothers heard the following sounds: Click, swish, fftt, ahhh.
    The eldest and youngest asked him what the noise in his room last night was. He replied, "Click- turned off the light. Swish-ran across the room. Fftt-farted, and Ahhh-landed on my girl."
    Now, the more...

    Junk Mail is Divine!

    Hot 5 years ago

    # Things I have learned from reading my junk e-mail:
    1. Everything is absolutely free (or only shipping & handling).
    2. I can become a millionaire overnight just by clicking here.
    3. Hundreds of young beautiful cheerleaders are waiting to perform any sexual acts I wish performed on me (or my pets, or my farm animals) if I just click there.
    4. I can have my penis size doubled, my breasts enlarged two cup sizes, my age reversed by 20 to 30 years. Just click here.
    5. I can buy almost anything for practically nothing if I just click here.
    6. I can see lovely lesbians cavort with each other..virgins lose their virginity in front of my eyes or famous movie starlets do it with a hundred horny dwarfs...just click here and here.
    7. I can purchase potions to enhance my sex life, restore my hair loss, make me irresistible to the opposite sex (or the same sex if preferred)..what else? click over yonder.
    8. But wait..there's more...legal marijuana, sleeping more...

    Bang Head Here

    Hot 4 years ago

    Tech Support: "All right. Now click 'OK'."
    Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
    Tech Support: "Yes, click 'OK'."
    Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
    Tech Support: "That's right. Click 'OK'."
    Customer: "So I click 'OK', right?"
    Tech Support: "Right. Click 'OK'."
    Pause.
    Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."
    Tech Support: "YOU CLICKED 'CANCEL'???"
    Customer: "That's what I was supposed to do, right?"
    Tech Support: "No, you were supposed to click 'OK'."
    Customer: "I thought you said to click 'Cancel'."
    Tech Support: "NO. I said to click 'OK'."
    Customer: "Oh."
    Tech Support: "Now we have to start over."
    Customer: "Why?"
    Tech Support: "Because you clicked 'Cancel'."
    Customer: "Wasn't I supposed to click 'Cancel'?"
    Tech Support: "No. Forget that. Let's start from the more...

    Side Effects

    Hot 3 years ago

    A recent news story detailed a medical implant which offers women the chance to experience orgasms with the press of a button. Tiny electrodes are implanted into the spine and a small signal generator in the skin close to the groin. The patient then controls the sensation with a handheld remote.

    --- Side Effects of the New Orgasm Implant:

    ~ Dramatic increase in the number of women seen hanging out at Radio Shack.

    ~ Cosmopolitan magazine folds due to a drastic shortage of orgasm related headlines.

    ~ Dad: now surfs with two remotes Mom: never complains

    ~ She never wants to cuddle anymore -- it's click, click, click, and she's out the door.

    ~ Thanks to a malfunctioning garage door opener, you're looking at $600 bucks to fix the hole your wife kicked in the dashboard of your SUV.

    ~ The Energizer Bunny keeps coming and coming...

    ~ "Not tonight, Honey. I have a thumbache."

    ~ Finally, more...

    Helpdesk 3

    Hot 3 years ago

    These are stories from help desks around the country.

    At 3: 37 a. m. on a Sunday, I had just looked at the clock to determine my annoyance level, when I received a frantic phone call from a new user of a Macintosh Plus. She had gotten her entire family out of the house and was calling from her neighbor's. She had just received her first system error and interpreted the picture of the bomb on the screen as a warning that the computer was going to blow up.

    ----------------------------------------

    Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
    Customer: "Ok."
    Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
    Customer: "No."
    Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
    Customer: "No."
    Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
    Customer: "Sure, you told me to write' click' and I more...

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