France Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The beautiful Executive Assistant to the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich Taiwanese client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback.
    However, she remembers what her boss told her. Don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75 carat diamond ring, with a matching 200 carat diamond tiara."
    The Taiwanese man pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says "No problem! I buy. I buy."
    Realizing that her first condition was too easy, the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100 room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France."
    The man pauses for more...

    Passport Please

    Hot 2 years ago

    An elderly gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn`t have to show it." "Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France!" The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn`t find any Frenchmen to show it to."

    **** African King ****
    The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client.
    The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her...don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her.
    So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man,"I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-carat diamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara."
    The African king pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "No problem! I have. I have."
    Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in more...

    Delicious Chewing Gum

    Hot 6 years ago

    A Frenchmen is calmly having his breakfast when an American (noisily chewing gum) sits beside him.
    The Frenchman ignores the American who (not happy about this) starts a conversation.
    American: "Do you eat the whole bread?"
    French (in a bad mood): "Of course!"
    American: "We don't. We only eat what is inside and the outside we put together in a container, recycle it, transform it into croissants and sell it to France."
    The French listens in silence.
    The American insists: "Do you eat the bread with jam?"
    French (now more annoyed): "Of course!"
    American: "We don't. We eat fresh fruit for our breakfast, put all the seed and the rest in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to France."
    The Frenchman then asks: "And what do you do with condoms once you used them?"
    American: "We throw them away, of course!"
    French: "We don't. We put more...

    Loan application

    Hot 5 years ago

    A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral.
    The title to the property dated back
    to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.
    After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:
    "Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral proper back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.
    "Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
    "Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note
    that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 more...

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