Rinse Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    How to Shower Like a Woman 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. 7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes. 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 10. Rinse conditioner off hair. 11. Shave armpits and legs. 12. Turn off shower. 13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. 14. Get out of shower. Dry more...

    Nuns into heaven

    Hot 3 years ago

    When nuns are admitted to heaven they go through a special gate and are expected to make one last confession before they become angels.
    Several nuns are lined up at this gate waiting to be absolved of their last sins before they are made holy.
    'And so,' says Saint Peter, 'have you ever had any contact with a man's penis?'
    'Well,' said the first nun in line, 'I did see one once.'
    'OK,' says Saint Peter, 'rinse your eyes in the Holy Water and pass on into heaven.'
    The next nun admits that, 'Well, yes, I did once get carried away and I, you know, sort of massaged one a bit.'
    '0K,' says Saint Peter, rinse your hand in the Holy Water and pass on into heaven.'
    Suddenly there is some jostling in the line and one of the nuns is trying to cut to the front of the queue.
    'Well now, what's going on here?' says Saint Peter.
    'Well, Your Excellency,' says the nun, who is trying to improve her position in line, 'if I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I more...

    Four nuns walk up to the Father to confess their sins.
    The first nuns walks up and says, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I have seen a man's penis."
    "Rinse your eyes in the Holy Water and all will be forgiven." replies the Father.
    The 2nd nun walks up and says, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I have touched a man's penis."
    "Rinse your hands in the Holy Water and all will be forgiven." replies the Father.
    He then notices the 3rd and 4th nun fighting for their place in line. He goes to them and says, "Sisters, Sisters, what is the fighting for?"
    The 4th nun replies, "Well there is no way in Hell I'm drinking the Holy Water after she's stuck her ass in it!"

    How to Shower Like a Woman

    1. Take off fourteen layers of clothing you put on this morning.

    2. Walk to bathroom wearing robe and towel on head. If you happen to see husband along the way, ignore juvenile "turban-head" jokes and run to bathroom.

    3. Look at womanly physique in mirror and stick out stomach so as to complain about how fat you're getting.

    4. Turn on hot water only.

    5. Get in the shower, once you've found it through all the steam.

    6. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.

    7. Wash hair once with cucumber and lemon shampoo with 83 added vitamins.

    8. Rinse hair. Condition your hair with cucumber and lemon conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.

    9. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red and raw.

    10. Try to wash entire rest of body with Ginger more...

    ****How To Shower Like a Woman****
    Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
    Get in the hower.
    Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
    Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
    Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
    Rinse conditioner off hair.
    Shave armpits and legs.
    Turn off hower.
    Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
    Spray mold spots with Tilex.
    Get out of more...

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