Exposed Jokes

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    The Perfect Penis

    Hot 2 years ago

    A four-year-old boy asked his friend what a penis was. His friend's response was that he did not know and he would ask his dad.

    That evening the second boy asked his dad. His dad gladly exposed himself to his son and with his penis in hand said, "Son this is a penis. In fact, if you take a good look you will see this is a perfect penis."

    The next day the second five year old boy met the first five year old boy and called him behind a hedge.

    The boy exposed himself and said, "This is a penis. In fact, if it were three inches shorter it would be a perfect penis!"

    According to the Washington Times (7/2/97) when a Virginia High School
    student exposed mice to hard rock music 10 hours a day for three weeks,
    their ability to navigate a maze they already knew decreased
    significantly. A control group, exposed to classical music, actually
    improved their maze time. The experiment was cut short because the hard
    rock mice ate each other.

    How to Shower Like a Woman 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. 7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes. 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 10. Rinse conditioner off hair. 11. Shave armpits and legs. 12. Turn off shower. 13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. 14. Get out of shower. Dry more...

    Throughout numerous cultures, the concept of the devil has been a constant, yet his name has varied. For instance, In German legend he has been called Krumnase meaning "crooked nose", Ziegenbart meaning "goatbeard", Spiegelglanz meaning "mirror-sight" and finally Shortzenanklez meaning "guy with shorts around his ankles".
    Where the odds of getting hit by lightning are almost 1 in a million, the odds are only 1 in 5 that some day you'll get rear-ended in a parking lot by a guy named "Herb".
    Although hard to believe, of 1000 proctologists polled, over 79% say that in any given work day, they use the word "AND" far more than they use the word "BUT".
    Of 3 million women movie-goers polled, 2.1 million stated that what a date orders at the snack bar can provide an initial indication of that person as a sexual partner. All 2.1 million stated that a date who orders Goobers has "no chance in more...

    1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
    2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
    3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.
    4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, arm-cloth, leg-cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
    5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
    6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
    7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
    8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw.
    9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
    10. Rinse more...

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