Random Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q. Why did the feminist cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger, for no reason what so ever.

Some ways to make sure you get an interesting prescription:
1. Ask to borrow a comb, comb your tongue.
2. Take random objects in his office and glue them to the floor.
3. Refuse to cooperate unless he trades his pants.
4. Bring pots and pans. Bang them together when he asks a question you don't like.
5. After everything he says, say, "And how does that make you feel?"
6. Point at random things and say, "Where did you get that?"
7. Complain that his chair looks more comfortable.
8. Repeat over and over, "I'm not hanging out with a bad influence, I AM a bad influence!"
9. Sit underneath your chair.
10. Stand on your head.
11. Kill spiders on the wall with your fist. Eat what sticks to your hand and leave the rest sticking to the wall. Draw a circle around it to make sure everyone sees it.
12. Never stop smiling.
13. Scream every word.
14. Repeatedly tell him to look at the ceiling. When he finally more...

Some ways to make sure you get an interesting prescription:1. Ask to borrow a comb, comb your tongue.2. Take random objects in his office and glue them to the floor.3. Refuse to cooperate unless he trades his pants.4. Bring pots and pans. Bang them together when he asks a question you don't like.5. After everything he says, say, "And how does that make you feel?"6. Point at random things and say, "Where did you get that?"7. Complain that his chair looks more comfortable.8. Repeat over and over, "I'm not hanging out with a bad influence, I AM a bad influence!"9. Sit underneath your chair.10. Stand on your head.11. Kill spiders on the wall with your fist. Eat what sticks to your hand and leave the rest sticking to the wall. Draw a circle around it to make sure everyone sees it.12. Never stop smiling.13. Scream every word.14. Repeatedly tell him to look at the ceiling. When he finally does, repeatedly tell him to look at the chair. When he finally does, more...

A Woman's Random Thoughts

Skinny people tick me off! Especially when they say things like,' You know, sometimes I forget to eat.' You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't care.

They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative, but I heard from it the other day after I said,' Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?' Clear as a bell my body said,' listen wench...do it and die.'

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing (and then they marry him).

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, smoking too much, impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day.

I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 20 can more...

One day the blonde walks up to a random person and says, "i wonder whats on the other side of that glass wall," so before the random person could answer she said, "ill jst climb over it to whats on the other side," so when she gets to the other side she sees the random person again. Then she climbs back over and says to the person, "on the other side of the wall, there is a person that looks just like you."