Automatically Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call
    to her real number.
    Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to
    "I love you."
    Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
    When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd
    appear in a little box in the corner of the screen
    during a time-out.
    Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle,
    you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.
    Birth control would come in ale or lager.
    You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked
    for, like "Heywood J'Blowme."
    Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of
    your choice.
    The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
    "Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an more...

    * Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
    * Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."
    * Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
    * If your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
    * Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the behind and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.
    * Birth control would come in ale or lager.
    * You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked for, like "The Lone Ranger."
    * Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice.
    * The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
    * "Sorry I'm late, but I was out getting wasted last night" would be an acceptable more...

    A person reviewing people in an insane asylum walks around and is pleased with what he sees. He starts to review patients to see what they will do when they get out.
    He walks up to the first guy and sees him throwing a football around. He automatically knows that he wants to be a football player.
    He walks up to another guy and sees him throwing a baseball around. He could automatically tell that he wanted to be a baseball player.
    He walks to the next cell and sees a man with his dick in a bowl of peanuts. He flips out and asks what he is doing. The man replies "I'm fucking nuts, I'm never getting out of here!"

    A person reviewing people in an insane asylum walks around and is pleased with what he sees. He starts to review patients to see what they will do when they get out. He walks up to the first guy and sees him throwing a football around. He automatically knows that he wants to be a football player. He walks up to another guy and sees him throwing a baseball around. He could automatically tell that he wanted to be a baseball player. He walks to the next cell and sees a man with his dick in a bowl of peanuts. He flips out and asks what he is doing. The man replies "I'm fucking nuts, I'm never getting out of here!"

    Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you." Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards. If your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it. Birth control would come in ale or lager. You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked for, like "Heywood J'Blowme." Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO. "Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness. At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and more...

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