Privates Jokes / Recent Jokes

A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water.
Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom". As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of boys from town.
Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover.
After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied, "I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, its my face they would recognize."

A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot.
They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since
it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the
water.
Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying
their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, who should come along
but a group of ladies from town.
Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered
their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover.
After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the
minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than
his privates. The rabbi replied, "I don't know about you, but in MY
congregation, it's my face they would recognize."

Bubba and Earl got promoted from Privates to Sergeants. Shortly after, they were out walking when Bubba said, "Hey, Earl, there's the NCO Club. Let's go in and have us a drank."
"But we's privates," protested Earl. Pointing out their stripes, Bubba replied, "No we ain't Earl, we's Sergeants now!"
They went in and ordered their drinks. A few minutes later, a hooker walked up to Bubba and said, "You're real cute. I'd love to take you somewhere and make you feel real good, but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea."
Bubba pulled Earl closer and whispered, "Quick, go look in the dictionary and see what that gon-o-rea means. If it's good, give me the okay sign."
Earl came back and gave Bubba the okay sign. A couple of weeks later, Bubba was in the infirmary with a case of gonorrhea. "Earl," he said, "why'd you gimme the okay fer?"
"Bubba, in the dictionary it says gonorrhea only affects the privates. more...

Grandpa is running around in the nursing home with his privates hanging out of his pants screaming: "My penis just died, my penis just died!"The nurses calm him down, and he goes back to his room. The next day, grandpa is running around again with his privates hanging out, so the nurse asks him: "I thought you said yesterday that your penis died. What happened?"Grandpa replies: "Yes, it did... but today is the viewing!"

How To Shower Like A Man:
1 - Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2 - Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo" sound.
3 - Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror, scratch your "privates" and smell your fingers for one last whiff.
4 - Get in the shower.
5 - Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).
6 - Wash your face.
7 - Wash your armpits.
8 - Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
9 - Wash your privates and surrounding area.
10 - Wash your butt, leaving hair on the soap bar.
11 - Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
12 - Make a shampoo Mohawk.
13 - Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.
14 - Pee (in the shower).
15 - Rinse off and get out of the more...

How To Shower Like A Man:1 - Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.2 - Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo" sound.3 - Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror, scratch your "privates" and smell your fingers for one last whiff.4 - Get in the shower.5 - Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).6 - Wash your face.7 - Wash your armpits.8 - Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.9 - Wash your privates and surrounding area.10 - Wash your butt, leaving hair on the soap bar.11 - Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).12 - Make a shampoo Mohawk.13 - Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.14 - Pee (in the shower).15 - Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging more...

One day John decides to invite Mark on a trip on his private jet. Whilst on this luxury aeroplane Mark asks where the toilet is. John shows him and says to him "inside there are 3 buttons, whatever you do don't press the third one." Mark proceeds to the toilet and does his business. Whilst sitting on the toilet he presses the first button. Suddenly his privates are cleaned thoroughly. He enjoys this and presses the second button. Dryers appear and dry his privates. He is intrigued to find out what button 3 does, so he pushes it. The next thing Mark sees is John staring at him... "what happened?" Mark asks shakily. "Well you pressed the third button and now you are in hospital." "Why do my privates hurt so bad?" Mark asked anxiously..John replies "Well you activated the automatic tampon remover."