Planning Jokes / Recent Jokes

How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"

The barman says, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We're planning WW III."

And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big tits."

The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits?" "Why kill a blonde with big tits?"

Bush turns to Powell and says, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"

A young, enthusiastic Family Planning official was deputed to gauge the success of the Family Planning message in rural Bihar.
He reached a remote village which proudly housed a family of eight children. On reaching the house, he saw the father lazily enjoying a hookah in the shade of a neem tree. In a dignified manner the official introduced himself, and asked "Sir, hadn't you thought about our Family Planning methods before you had these eight kids!"

"Why should I?" he replied angrily. "The methods are all useless!" jeered the hefty Bihari.

"But, Sir, have you tried using condoms?" enquired the official.

Without responding to his question, the Bihari called two of his children rowing in the dirt. "Oye, Bablu, Dablu, come here!" Then he addressed the official. "Can you see them! They are the result of a torn condom!"

Saving his pride, the official replied, "Ok, Sir, you more...

Once Bush And Vajpayee Were In A Beer Bar And They Were Drinking Their Beers. At That Time A Reporter Came Upto Them and asked "So Mr. Bush And Vajpayee What Are You Planning?

Vajpayee Says" We Are Planning A Third World War In Which We Will Kill 14 Million Pakistanis And A Cycle Repair Man.

The Reporter Asks" That's Alright, But Why Do You Want To Kill A Cycle Repair man?

Vajpayee Saya To Bush "See I Told You No One Will Worry About The 14 Million Pakistanis.

The old couple were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 50th wedding anniversary. The old woman said, "We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon."
"Uh huh," said the old man.
"We will do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon," said the old woman.
"Uh huh," said the old man.
"And we will make love like we did on our first honeymoon," said the old woman.
"That's right," said the old man, "except this time I get to sit on the side of the bed and cry, 'It's too big, it's too big!'"

Laloos family planning policy..
"don't have more than two children in one year"

After a long day at the computer, Eve Adams, economic consultant opened her mail.

Dear Consultant:
Your firm is currently on the Timber County Environmental Consultant List on file with the Departm ent of Planning and Building Services. Those firms on the list may receive Requests for Proposals from the County acting a lead agency or be selected by a private project applicant to provide supplemental studies in support of an application related to p lanning projects which require the services of a planning consultant.
In order to effectively maintain the consultant list and provide for public interface, it has become necessary to institute a fee of $25. 00 for a two year period. It is requested t hat if you wish to remain on the list, please forward a check to this office in the amount of $25. 00 made payable to Timber County.
"If $25 gets us on the list, how much will it cost to move to the top of the list?"

Note: This is a quote fro m an more...