Estate Jokes

A man was passing a country estate and saw a sign on the gate. It read: "Please ring bell for the caretaker." He rang the bell and an old man appeared. "Are you the caretaker?" the fellow asked. "Yes, I am," replied the old man. "What do you want?" "I`d just like to know why you can`t ring the bell yourself."

'Real' Real Estate Definitions
Charming: Tiny. Snow White might fit, but five of the dwarfs would have to find their own place. See "Cute," "Enchanting," and "Good Starter Home."
Much Potential: Grim. Steer clear unless you have a lot of money and believe your blind dates really did have nice personalities.
Unique City Home: Used to be a warehouse.
Hi-Tech/Contemporary: Lots of steel shelving with little holes - the kind your dad used to store tools on in the basement.
Daring Design: Still a warehouse
Completely Updated: Avocado dishwasher and harvest gold carpeting or vice versa.
Sophisticated: Black walls and no windows. See "Architect's Delight."
One-Of-A-Kind: Ugly as sin.
Brilliant Concept: Do you really need a two-story live oak in your 30-foot sky dome? See "Makes Dramatic Statement."
Upper Bracket: If you have to ask...
You'll Love It: No, you won't.
Must See To Believe: An more...

A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there.
The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?"
The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds."
The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how do you start a flood?"

A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?" The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"

A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there.
The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?"
The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds."
The lawyer looked puzzled.
"Gee," he asked, "how do you start a flood?"