Ping Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two whores were talking shop...

"Why is it," asked Sharon, "that I get as many customers as you, and yet you seem to make a lot more money than me?"

"Well, I'll let you in on a little trick," said Tracy. "What I do is, before I go out, I take a rubber band and stick it up my self. Then when I get a bloke back to my flat and he starts doing the business, it goes ping. I tell him he's just broken my virginity. I usually get an extra $20 for that!"

"I'll give that a try," says Sharon.

She does and it works just fine. Unfortunately, one day as she was getting ready, she found that the bag of rubber bands was empty. She searched around, but all she could find was a catapult. She carfully inserted the catapult and set off for work. Having returned with a fella, Sharon spread them and as the bloke got going there was the usual ping.

"You've just broken my virginity!" said more...

Four nuns are driving to market and get hit by a drunk driver and all four nuns die. They get in line to go through pearly gates and wait for St. Peter to admit them.St. Peter goes to the nuns and says "I realize that you are sisters of the cloth, but I must ask you if you have anything to report to me that might be a sin."The sisters thought for a while and the first nun went to St. Peter. "I once touched a man's penis with this finger". St. Peter thought for a while and said. "I'm sure it was in the line of duty; Place your finger in that holy water and swirl it around." She did as she was instructed and "PING" she was in.The second nun went to St. Peter and said, "I once touched a man's genitals with my entire right hand." Again St. Peter thought for a while and said, "I'm sure it was within your duties; Swirl your hand in that holy water and go in." The second nun did as she was instructed and "ping" she was more...

One day the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class
that on each Friday she will ask a question to the class and anyone who
answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday.
On the first Friday the teacher asks: "
How many grains of sand are on the
beach?"
needless to say, no one could answer.
The following Friday, the teacher asks the class: "
How many stars are in
the sky?"
and again no one could answer. Frustrated little Johnny decides
that the next Friday he would somehow answer the question and get a 3 day
weekend.
So Thursday night Johnny takes 2 ping pong balls and paints them black.
The next day he brings them to school in a paper bag. At the end of the
day just when the teacher says, "
here's this week's question,"
Johnny
empties the bag to the floor sending the ping pong balls rolling to the
front of the room. Because they are more...

Once there was a beautiful princess who had many suitors who wished to marry her. Her father, the King, picked three and told them that they would have to compete in a contest to marry his daughter. Whomever won got to marry her.
He called the 3 men to his castle and told them what to do. He said I give you each 3 months to go around the world and collect as many ping pong balls as you can. Whomever collects the most can marry my daughter.
And so the three went off.
A month later one came back. He had found 2,000 ping pong balls. The king said that was pretty good but he must wait for the others to return.
The next month another man came back. He had found 5,000 ping pong balls. The king siad that that was pretty good also but must wait for the final man.
On the last day of the last month, a dirty, beat-up looking man stumbled into the king's castle. He was carrying something in his hands. So the king said to him how many ping pong balls did you get?
Ping pong more...