Finger Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    On the other hand, you

    Hot 8 months ago

    On the other hand, you have different fingers.

    Power Of Observation

    Hot 7 months ago

    It is recounted that at King's College in the Strand around the time of the war, the Chief of Services would inevitably begin the year's rounds by teaching "a singularly important principle of medicine."
    He asked a nurse to fetch him a sample of urine. He then talked at length about diabetes mellitus. "Diabetes," he said, "is a greek name; but the Romans noticed that the bees like the urine of diabetics, so they added the word mellitus which means sweet as honey. Well, as you know, you may find sugar in the urine of a diabetic..."
    By now, the nurse had returned with a sample of urine which the registrar promptly held up like a trophy. We stared at that straw colored fluid as if we had never seen such a thing before. The registrar then startled us. He dipped a finger boldly into the urine, then licked his finger with the tip of his tongue. As if tasting wine, he opened and closed his lips rapidly. Could he perhaps detect a faint taste of sugar? The more...

    Bleeding Man

    Hot 6 months ago

    Perhaps you've heard of the man who thought he was dead, when in reality he was very much alive. His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.
    The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince the man he was still alive. Nothing seemed to work. Finally, the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical book and proceeded to show the patient that dead men don't bleed.
    After hours of tedious study, the patient seemed convinced that dead men don't bleed.
    "Do you now agree that dead men don't bleed?" the doctor asked.
    "Yes, I do," the patient replied. "Very well, then," the doctor said.
    He took out a pin and pricked the patient's finger. Out came a trickle of blood.
    The doctor asked, "What does that tell you?"
    "Oh my goodness!" the patient exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his finger... "Dead men do bleed!!"

    A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

    "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

    She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.

    The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?"

    She says "No, I'm really a blonde".

    "I thought so," he says. "You have a broken finger."

    Washing away sin

    Hot 4 months ago

    A train hits a bus load of nuns and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St.Peter. He asks the first nun Sister Karen have you ever had any contact with a penis???

    The nun giggles and replies, Well, once I touched the head of one with the tip of my finger. St Peter says OK, dip the tip of your finger in the holy water and pass through the gate.

    St Peter asks the next nun the same question Sister Elizabeth have you ever had any contact with a penis.. The nun is a little reluctant but reply's Well I once fondled and stroked one..

    St Peter says, OK dip your hand in the holy water and pass through the gate... All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of nuns. One nun is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line St Peter says Sister, Sister what seems to be the problem??

    The nun reply's If I'm going to have to gargle that holy water, I want to go before more...

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